Former Dallas Cowboys Standout Terrell Owens: “I’m in Hell”

Susanna Kim of ABC News has written a sad, sorry story about former NFL sensation Terrell Owens.

Terrell Owens was despised by almost every fan of every team on which he did not play and by many on the teams on which he did. He was seen as selfish, self-centered, a Prima Donna. In San Francisco and Dallas, he was ultimately perceived as a team cancer. In Buffalo and Cincinnati, he was mostly a non-factor.

But Owens was bright. He was innovative. He was a showman. From dancing on the midfield star in Texas Stadium to hauling out a sharpie and signing a football after scoring a touchdown, Owens incensed the opposition and entertained the masses.

Owens possesses an infectious smile and a quick wit. He is also a special, Hall of Fame–caliber talent. He has all the traits that could have made him beloved by all.

All but one.

Owens never bought into the notion that there is no “I” in team. He always figured the best thing for whatever team he was on was for him to be the focus of the offense and the center of attention.

On the sidelines during one Dallas Cowboys game, Owens was captured screaming, “I love me some me!”

And he did love him some him, but apparently few others do these days.

Kim opens her articleTerrell Owens, the former NFL star receiver who has signed to play for and co-own an indoor football team, is friendless and nearly broke, he told GQ magazine. “I’m in hell,” Owens, 38, said he tells people who ask about his well-being.

Hardly the picture of a man reaping the rewards of an NFL career that garnered him a reported 80 million dollars in earnings.

Hardly the expected testimony of the man who once said, “Getcha popcorn ready, because it’s gonna be a show.”

Kim concludes her article, “I don’t have no friends,” [Owens] told GQ. ”I don’t want no friends. That’s how I feel.”

The sadness of this man is palpable. What a tragedy!

Did you ever hear the term “Good-Time Charlie?”

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a “good-time Charlie” as  a happy-go-lucky convivial man given to fun making, hilarity, and the general pursuit of amusement.

Terrell Owens was the NFL’s most colorful Good-Time Charlie. And what is wrong with that, really? There is nothing wrong with enjoying the ride.

Get ready. Here comes my analysis.

Someone has to be the life of the party and if you are that person to whom others naturally gravitate, more power to you. You make them laugh. You make them cry. You leave them wanting more. They all want to be you.

Cool.

But be careful, shining star, of listening too closely to the accolades. Be careful of making yourself the focal point of your own attentions. The crowd is fickle and glory fleeting. When the lights go out and the party ends, it will be those people you loved, those people in whom you invested, those people you made feel important that remain.

Be careful how you party, party hound.

Or, you may end up a party of one in a forsaken dive Owens called “Hell.”

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Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Promises to Change the Man in the Mirror— Again

Stop me if you have heard this before:

“We’ll make some changes; I’ll assure you we’ll make changes. When you work for yourself, there’s not but one thing to change — that’s what’s in that mirror.”

This was what Jerry Jones told WFAA Channel 8 News, after the New York Giants whipped the Atlanta Falcons in round one of the NFL playoffs, a game the Cowboys could have been hosting if they had beaten the Giants just once in two shots this season.

Of course, Jones has already stated that he will not consider stepping down as general manager of the team, despite the fact that he is the only constant in a fifteen–year mess of mediocrity in which his team has found itself mired.

So what change is he making when he looks in that mirror, anyway? He already has his false teeth and facelift. What is he going to do, get a Botox treatment?

Actually, we may already be getting our answer. According to reports, defensive backs coach Dave Campo will not have his contract renewed. This is hardly a surprise when you consider the Cowboys were among the league’s worst in pass defense.

Campo is an easy target. It would be way too much egg on Jerry’s augmented face to admit that Rob Ryan is not the answer.

By the way, Ryan is not the answer. Hisinsistence on keeping with all-out blitzes in the must-win last game of the season, despite their ineffectiveness, contributed to the Cowboys sitting out yet another postseason. Ryan constantly left his overmatched defensive backs on islands they were not equipped to man. He proved he is less innovative and more predictable than any member of the overrated Ryan clan is ever apt to confess.

Rob will stay. Campo will not.

Chances are pretty good Terrence Newman will also find himself looking for gainful employment, possibly along with free agent Abram Elam.

Changes will come. Jones will make good on that much of his promise. But changing the man in the mirror?

That leopard’s spots are immutable, friend. Jerry Jones will still be the same ineffective, clueless “football” man he has always been.

And the more things change, the more they will stay the same.

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Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Fiddles While Rome Burns

It is time for a Jones family coup.

It is time for the Jones family to salvage what is left of their dignity and community status. This mess Papa Jerry Jones is making of the Dallas Cowboys threatens to destroy every shred of goodwill the people of Dallas/Fort Worth ever had for the Arkansas clan.

After the Cowboys concluded yet another disappointing, playoff-missing season with an 8-8 record, which they achieved by dropping four of their last five games, Jones was peppered with the usual questions about hiring a general manager.

The stubborn ol’ coot once again stood his ground, set his jaw and defiantly declared himself the best man for the job. At this point, exactly one person in the universe believes that to be true: Jerry Jones.

Jerry’s reasoning is beyond ridiculous.

David Moore of DallasNews.com shared the belligerent owner’s reaction to the idea of the Cowboys bringing a football man like Bill Polian on board as GM:

“I know we can do better, but I think there are some positives there.”

“I’d call on the very same kinds of influence and people and the information that someone like Bill Polian does.”

“The way we’re structured and the way it is, our fans need to understand that I have the ability to go get anybody and any bit of information that there is, sports or football, and I do. I go get it. We get it from a lot of sources.”

If you really listen to what Jones is saying, it is pretty clear that he has lost the last shred of sanity he possessed. He thinks that telling Joe Fan that he hasn’t been acting unilaterally all these years will make the mediocrity he has mired this club in easier to digest. He thinks he can fool the entire world. He thinks that if he can just make you understand that he really is the best choice for GM of the Dallas Cowboys, everything will be just fine.

But you ain’t buying it. Neither am I. Neither is anyone else in the known universe.

During the 15-year period from 1997–2011, Jerry Jones’ Cowboys have posted a regular season record of 120–120. They have been to the playoffs six times. They have one playoff victory.

The Dallas Cowboys plowed through five head coaches during the aforementioned span. Jason Garrett is coach number six. One of those coaches, Dave Campo (the current defensive backs coach), rode herd over three consecutive 5–11 teams.

We are not talking about the Cardinals here! This is the Dallas Cowboys. And these are the Dark Ages in this team’s storied existence. Fans of America’s Team continue to suffer through the longest Super Bowl drought in franchise history with no sign of relief on the horizon and no reason to hope for a better tomorrow.

Still, Jones says hiring a general manager would “deter from the mix” at Cowboys headquarters. This has to be among the most insane things the man has said to date. He is overseeing a faltering, failing organization but does not want to mess up the chemistry?

Huh?

Jerry “Nero” Jones continues to fiddle while Rome burns and nobody can do a thing about it. Unless…his own family joins together and overthrows the tyrant.

A Jones family coup may be the only thing that can save the Cowboys from the destructive force of an insane owner.

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Posted in (Gene)tic Ranting, Crazy (even for a Cowboy), Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Cowboys blog, Jerry Jones | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Jerry Jones is the Dallas Cowboys GM, but Who Really Owns the Team?

The Dallas Cowboys are under new ownership, and have been for awhile now.

No, I am not reporting that the Jones family has sold one of the world’s most valuable sports franchises. The ownership exchange has not been the result of an asset exchange. It has been more of a hostile takeover.

Let me explain.

Andy Reid owns the Dallas Cowboys

In 13 seasons as head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, Reid has posted a 17–9 record versus America’s Former Team. While the Cowboys have ventured past the first round of the playoffs but once in that span, Reid’s Eagles have won seven division titles, played in five NFC championship games and been to one Super Bowl.

Oh, by the way, the Cowboys have plowed through five coaches in those 13 years. They have, however, kept the same GM. Apparently, owner Jerry Jones is willing to let coach Andy Reid dominate his team year after year, just as long as GM Jerry Jones gets to keep deluding himself into believing he is a competent “football man.”

The thing Jones is most proud of these days is his shiny new $1.2 billion play pretty in Arlington. But he doesn’t own that, either.

 

Eli Manning owns Cowboys Stadium

The Giants were the Cowboys’ first-ever opponent in the new stadium. Eli & Company spoiled the grand opening by beating the Cowboys. Eli would add insult to that injury by signing the locker room wall after the game.

“First win in the new stadium,” Eli wrote.

It would not be his last. Manning has posted a 3–0 record in Arlington.

Manning is not the only Cowboys opponent enjoying success in the place ESPN analyst Chris Carter called, “That night club the Dallas Cowboys call a football stadium.” The Cowboys’ overall record (to date) in the new stadium is 14–11. That amounts to a .56 winning percentage, barely above .500.

Of course, the underwhelming performance in the new stadium has everything to do with the teams Jones and his cronies have fielded and little or nothing to do with the new digs.

 

December owns Tony Romo and his Dallas Cowboys

For Tom Landry, December was important. The legendary coach that lead his team to 20 straight winning seasons, five Super Bowl appearances and two Lombardi trophies talked about streaking into the playoff. He put emphasis on playing your best football when it counted most.

Romo would, apparently, disagree with Landry. The current Cowboys QB has posted a December record  8–13. But he feels like people that pay attention to that sort of thing are just silly.

John Machota of DallasNews.com quotes Romo on the subject:

“The problem with December sometimes is I don’t know how many times you’re out of the playoffs, in the playoffs,” Romo said. “That stuff plays a role. Sometimes you’re sitting starters. Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you’ve got Philly, Baltimore and the Giants to finish the year.

“You need to make it over 15 years is what you need to do, not four or five years. It’s just silly. Any stat you can make over a short period of time. That’s four games. Stats are just stuff, in that regard, they come and go with whatever’s in vogue recently.”

See? Stop worrying about how the Cowboys perform in December, you silly ol’ fan.

 

Who really owns the Dallas Cowboys? Jerry Jones does, of course! And he does not care how far into the ground he has to grind the once-proud franchise in order to prove it is his team and he will run it his way.

And so, if you are that lifelong fan that refers to the Dallas Cowboys as “my team,” you will just have to come to the stark realization these are not your Daddy’s Cowboys. They are not yours, either.

These Cowboys belong to Jerry “Blankety-Blank” Jones…and Andy Reid…and Eli Manning…and the cold, lonely howl of a lost December.

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Posted in (Gene)tic Ranting, Coaches, Cowboys Stadium, Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Cowboys blog, Defeat, In(Gene)ious Insights, Jerry Jones, Leadership | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Have You Hurd How the ‘Boys Beat the Bears Black and Blue?

Sam Hurd, that is.

By now, you know the story. Hurd was busted allegedly trying to set himself up as a major player in the Chicagoland drug distribution business.

The following is an excerpt from a Washington Post report on Hurd’s arrest:

“Hurd told the [undercover federal] agent that he was interested in buying five to 10 kilograms of cocaine and 1,000 pounds of marijuana per week to distribute in the Chicago area…”

This goes way beyond the recreational drug use of a young, spoiled, rich athlete. This is a man intent on a significant illegal business venture.

All over the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex and around the country, Dallas Cowboys fans heaved a sigh of relief that this happened on another team’s watch. Those of us old enough to remember the “White House” days of the early ’90s when, along with other teammates, Michael Irvin maintained a party house where hookers and cocaine could be had in ample supply know this is news better brought from afar than from your own backyard.

ESPN.com has this little tidbit to remind us all of those halcyon days:

Irvin celebrated his 30th birthday with former Cowboy Alfredo Roberts. According to Texas Monthly, “Party favors included 10.3 grams of cocaine and more than an ounce of marijuana, assorted drug paraphernalia and sex toys.” He was also a regular at the “White House,” a private pleasure palace near the team’s training facility, where he and many teammates enjoyed their R&R, which apparently included just about any wanton activity you could imagine.

Sam Hurd, however, is just the injury that was added to the insults former Dallas Cowboys have brought to the windy city and their beloved Bears.

Let’s not forget Roy Williams and Marion Barber.

Roy Williams is a supremely gifted athlete, physically. He has all the tools that seem to point to great success in the NFL. This is why Cowboys owner Jerry Jones felt confident in forking over a first-, a third- and a sixth-round pick in the 2009 NFL draft to acquire the receiver from the Detroit Lions.

Three years later, Jones admitted it was a mistake, cut the underachieving receiver and the Bears scooped him up.

How has Williams panned out in Chicago so far? About like he did everywhere else. He has caught, to date, 26 passes for 357 yards and one touchdown.

The Bears also snatched up RB Marion Barber when the Cowboys released him this past offseason. The man Cowboys’ fans once called “the Barbarian” has repaid his new team with a pedestrian effort most of the time and a disastrous meltdown Sunday past.

When the Bears faced off against the NFL’s version of Clark Kent, rising superstar Tim Tebow, and his mighty Denver Broncos, it was not Tebow that was most responsible for the unlikely Broncos comeback victory.

It was Marion Barber.

The game was won. The Bears had the ball and needed but to run out the clock and go home mile high victors. But Barber committed the cardinal sin of running out of bounds and killing the clock, leaving Tebow just enough time to captain another comeback.

The Broncos sent the game into overtime and it appeared barber might redeem himself on a breakaway run, but he fumbled at his own 34 and cost his team the game.

Williams and Barber deal the Bears misery on the gridiron. Meanwhile, Hurd deals drugs on the side…and deals the franchise and the NFL a huge black eye.

While the Chicago brass contemplate the wisdom of signing Cowboys castoffs, somewhere far away, Jerry Jones is sighing his relief.

ESPN Video link: Roy Williams, Lance Briggs, Brian Urlacher react to news about Hurd

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