“Sean Payton to coach Dallas Cowboys.”
No one would be surprised if that was the leading headline in the coming NFL off-season. Since the NFL voided Payton’s contract with the New Orleans Saints, speculation about Jerry Jones setting his sights on the former Cowboys assistant has run rampant.
And why not?
We have seen it before. Jerry experiments with puppet coaches. He coaches from behind the scenes until the franchise sinks into three straight 5–11 seasons. Then, in desperation, he hires himself a real man, a real coach that will demand real authority.
Namely, Bill Parcells.
Parcells restores sanity and order and builds a viable NFL roster and then goes his merry way, leaving Jones to hire another man just happy to be here and more than willing to let Jones call all of the shots that really matter.
Enter Wade Phillips.
Phillips falls short, as he always does and always will as a head coach. So, Jones hires a young man with a good pedigree, deep Cowboys roots, loyalty to the Jones family and the makings of leadership ability. Only, Jason Garrett does not seem to be working out so well. Questionable play calling. Dismal clock management. A disorderly team that is the second worst in the NFL for luring yellow flags from pinstriped pockets.
Now, Jones, Garrett and company are strapped with a 3–5 record at the halfway mark of the 2012 season. And there sits Payton, Super Bowl winner, proven offensive mind, the unquestioned leader of his team. Like the proverbial carrot on a stick, that has to have the Cowboys head jackass salivating.
You would think.
So, what if Jones hires Payton?
As a life-long fan of this club, I say, “Who cares?!”
The Cowboys’ problems are way deeper than the head coach position. No matter whom he brings in as coach, Jones continues to make it clear that only God calling his no-football-knowing, ridiculous, selfish ass home to his reward will keep him from playing the evil mastermind with a dumbass, doomed, juvenile plot to rule the world of football.
At this writing, the team is a game under .500 over the past 15 years. And only one man has had enough to do with the thing over that period to be blamed.
Until Jones is gone, I wouldn’t get excited if Tom Landry was resurrected and roaming the sideline.
I. Am. Fed. Up.
As much as I hate to agree with former Giants’ runner Tiki Barber on anything, I leave you with an observation he made in USA Today:
Prior to the Sunday night game (another Cowboys’ loss on national TV, by the way), Bob Costa interviewed the most important member of the Cowboys. No, not quarterback Tony Romo or tight end Jason Witten or wide receiver Dez Bryant or linebacker DeMarcus Ware. Costas interviewed Jones. As long as the Cowboys are about the guy in the front office, and no one on the field, they will not be a consistent winner.
Apparently, only the Grim Reaper can stop the madness. Jones is not retiring. He is not firing himself. He is going to continue to make everything about the Cowboys all about himself. He has no idea what an impossibly boring, overrated, worn-out, tiring subject he is. The only reason anyone interviews him at all is to laugh at him, to find that nugget of insanity he is always sure to hand the interviewer.
If Sean Payton has an ounce of sense or pride, he will shun Jones’ money and find a place where football is what the football team is really about.