Stop me if you have heard this before:

“We’ll make some changes; I’ll assure you we’ll make changes. When you work for yourself, there’s not but one thing to change — that’s what’s in that mirror.”

This was what Jerry Jones told WFAA Channel 8 News, after the New York Giants whipped the Atlanta Falcons in round one of the NFL playoffs, a game the Cowboys could have been hosting if they had beaten the Giants just once in two shots this season.

Of course, Jones has already stated that he will not consider stepping down as general manager of the team, despite the fact that he is the only constant in a fifteen–year mess of mediocrity in which his team has found itself mired.

So what change is he making when he looks in that mirror, anyway? He already has his false teeth and facelift. What is he going to do, get a Botox treatment?

Actually, we may already be getting our answer. According to reports, defensive backs coach Dave Campo will not have his contract renewed. This is hardly a surprise when you consider the Cowboys were among the league’s worst in pass defense.

Campo is an easy target. It would be way too much egg on Jerry’s augmented face to admit that Rob Ryan is not the answer.

By the way, Ryan is not the answer. Hisinsistence on keeping with all-out blitzes in the must-win last game of the season, despite their ineffectiveness, contributed to the Cowboys sitting out yet another postseason. Ryan constantly left his overmatched defensive backs on islands they were not equipped to man. He proved he is less innovative and more predictable than any member of the overrated Ryan clan is ever apt to confess.

Rob will stay. Campo will not.

Chances are pretty good Terrence Newman will also find himself looking for gainful employment, possibly along with free agent Abram Elam.

Changes will come. Jones will make good on that much of his promise. But changing the man in the mirror?

That leopard’s spots are immutable, friend. Jerry Jones will still be the same ineffective, clueless “football” man he has always been.

And the more things change, the more they will stay the same.

The Dallas Cowboys are under new ownership, and have been for awhile now.

No, I am not reporting that the Jones family has sold one of the world’s most valuable sports franchises. The ownership exchange has not been the result of an asset exchange. It has been more of a hostile takeover.

Let me explain.

Andy Reid owns the Dallas Cowboys

In 13 seasons as head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, Reid has posted a 17–9 record versus America’s Former Team. While the Cowboys have ventured past the first round of the playoffs but once in that span, Reid’s Eagles have won seven division titles, played in five NFC championship games and been to one Super Bowl.

Oh, by the way, the Cowboys have plowed through five coaches in those 13 years. They have, however, kept the same GM. Apparently, owner Jerry Jones is willing to let coach Andy Reid dominate his team year after year, just as long as GM Jerry Jones gets to keep deluding himself into believing he is a competent “football man.”

The thing Jones is most proud of these days is his shiny new $1.2 billion play pretty in Arlington. But he doesn’t own that, either.

Eli Manning owns Cowboys Stadium

The Giants were the Cowboys’ first-ever opponent in the new stadium. Eli & Company spoiled the grand opening by beating the Cowboys. Eli would add insult to that injury by signing the locker room wall after the game.

“First win in the new stadium,” Eli wrote.

It would not be his last. Manning has posted a 3–0 record in Arlington.

Manning is not the only Cowboys opponent enjoying success in the place ESPN analyst Chris Carter called, “That night club the Dallas Cowboys call a football stadium.” The Cowboys’ overall record (to date) in the new stadium is 14–11. That amounts to a .56 winning percentage, barely above .500.

Of course, the underwhelming performance in the new stadium has everything to do with the teams Jones and his cronies have fielded and little or nothing to do with the new digs.

December owns Tony Romo and his Dallas Cowboys

For Tom Landry, December was important. The legendary coach that lead his team to 20 straight winning seasons, five Super Bowl appearances and two Lombardi trophies talked about streaking into the playoff. He put emphasis on playing your best football when it counted most.

Romo would, apparently, disagree with Landry. The current Cowboys QB has posted a December record  8–13. But he feels like people that pay attention to that sort of thing are just silly.

John Machota of DallasNews.com quotes Romo on the subject:

“The problem with December sometimes is I don’t know how many times you’re out of the playoffs, in the playoffs,” Romo said. “That stuff plays a role. Sometimes you’re sitting starters. Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you’ve got Philly, Baltimore and the Giants to finish the year.

“You need to make it over 15 years is what you need to do, not four or five years. It’s just silly. Any stat you can make over a short period of time. That’s four games. Stats are just stuff, in that regard, they come and go with whatever’s in vogue recently.”

See? Stop worrying about how the Cowboys perform in December, you silly ol’ fan.

Who really owns the Dallas Cowboys? Jerry Jones does, of course! And he does not care how far into the ground he has to grind the once-proud franchise in order to prove it is his team and he will run it his way.

And so, if you are that lifelong fan that refers to the Dallas Cowboys as “my team,” you will just have to come to the stark realization these are not your Daddy’s Cowboys. They are not yours, either.

These Cowboys belong to Jerry “Blankety-Blank” Jones…and Andy Reid…and Eli Manning…and the cold, lonely howl of a lost December.

Where there is smoke, there is fire.

Unless, it is not smoke at all. Maybe it is just fog. And fog means water, which squelches fire.

None of that, of course, answers the question of the day: Is Nick Saban destined to become the next head coach of the Dallas Cowboys?

A few guys down at the Central Freight Lines terminal in Dallas confirm that Saban has, in fact, been told by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to name his price. My friend John here in Mobile, Alabama (where I have been working for the past six months and counting) says it just ain’t so.

To be fair, the boys down on the docks are Cowboys fans; John, on the other hand, bleeds crimson.

Who is right?

Who knows?

I don’t and I doubt whether you do. So, let’s consider the reasons why and why not and try to reach a consensus, shall we?

Nick Saban WILL BE the next Cowboys coach because…

• Jerry Jones has only won Super Bowls with former NCAA champion coaches. And he is the only owner that can say that. Jimmy Johnson became the first coach in history to win both an NCAA national championship and a Lombardi trophy. Barry Switzer became the last. So far.
• Jerry Jones is to the NFL what P.T. Barnum was to the circus. He is the ultimate showman. He loves the spotlight and he loves to make the big splash. Hiring Saban would do that.
• Jerry Jones is sitting on a billion-dollar time bomb. The eighteenth wonder of the world, or whatever number it is, known as Cowboys Stadium is an investment unlike any the former wildcatter has ever made. The main thing Jones can do to put butts in those seats is field a championship-contending team. Another thing he can try is create a firestorm and stir interest with a controversial move like this. Whether it works or not, Jones will have the attention of the planet.

Nick Saban WILL NEVER coach the Dallas Cowboys because…

• He has been there and done that and by all reports was extremely unhappy in the NFL, where the demands of a head coach are of a quite different nature than those on a college coach. You cannot field a winner by just slick-talking your way into fielding a vastly superior football team. All NFL teams are supremely talented and today’s professional athlete does not always respond well to control freak coaches.
• Jerry Jones saw what happened in Miami. That franchise has still not completely recovered from the Saban trainwreck.
• Drew Brees. Saban could have signed him as a free agent. Instead, he traded a second round draft pick for Daunte Culpepper.
• Alabama. Saban is revered in the state that measures every coach against the ghost of Bear Bryant. Why would Saban leave sainthood to return to the only place he has ever been demonized in his coaching career– the NFL?
• Jerry Jones is an egomaniac. Nick Saban has his own sizable ego. Both men are control freaks. Jones is haunted by the unhappy marriage and very nasty divorce with Jimmy Johnson. He will not put himself in that position again…

Unless, of course, he feels he has no choice.

I am sure there are other factors to consider. Like money. I doubt, however, that the Crimson Tide will be outbid, even by Jerry Jones. Besides, this will not come down to just money. Saban has plenty of that and there is plenty more where that came from.

It will come down to ego.

Is Saban destined to coach the Dallas Cowboys?

I think not.

Jason Garrett is Jerry’s guy. He has all the tools: intelligence, leadership qualities, football acumen. He also understands as well as anyone can possibly understand how to coexist with Jerry’s Cowboys Stadium-sized ego.

Nick Saban will never be the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

Unless, of course, the team collapses under Garrett.

Does anyone have a BC powder?

Bill Cowher added his voice to the din surrounding the Cowboys’ loss Sunday by firing off biting criticism of Jason Garrett regarding his management of the Cowboys’ final offensive drive during regulation last Sunday versus the Arizona Cardinals.

When the Cowboys found themselves at the Cards’ 31 yard line with 26 seconds left on the clock and two timeouts still in their possession, their coach elected to clock the ball rather than use a timeout to set up a play to at least get a few yards closer to the goal post before sending his rookie kicker onto the field.

Carlos Mendoza of the The Fort Worth Star-Telegram attributed the following quote to Coach Cowher:

Sunday was a familiar sight for beleaguered fans of America’s erstwhile Team.

Phoenix, Arizona is not known as a tough place to win a football game. Unless, of course you are the Phoenix Cardinals or the Dallas Cowboys. Historically, the Cardinals have struggled to win football games anywhere (with one brief Kurt Warner-induced respite) unless they are playing the Cowboys.

This Cowboys 19–13 overtime loss to the Cards had no business going to overtime and no business being a loss. Because it was both, it proved to be business as usual.

This loss also proved a few other things…

It proved Jerry Jones, the World’s Dumbest Billionaire (not an official title, but I am working on it), is wrong again. When he derisively called Jimmy Johnson a “walk-around coach” and intimated that it is better to have your head coach serve as his own offensive coordinator, he was dead stinking wrong.

At the end of regulation, Garrett apparently got lost on the sideline. He had two timeouts in his pocket and failed to use either of them when he should have. The Cowboys were driving for the winning score. A timeout would have bought them the opportunity to claim more of the Cardinals’ real estate and get rookie kicker Dan Bailey an easier shot at kicking a game-winning field goal.

Garrett eschewed using a timeout until his kicker was lining up and making a game-winning field goal. Then, at the last second, the Cowboys’ coach became the first in NFL history to ice his own kicker. As the ball sailed between the uprights, the referee was blowing the whistle and awarding the head coach/offensive coordinator his timeout.

Saying a head coach is better off serving as his own coordinator is almost as stupid as saying a team owner should serve as his own General Manager. Sunday was Exhibit A for Jimmy Johnson’s argument against a head coach bogging himself down in the minutia of coordinator duties. It is almost impossible to consider the big picture and control all the dirty details simultaneously.

Garrett’s inability to manage the clock and game strategy at the most crucial time in the contest is beyond inexplicable. it is inexcusable.

So, shut up, Jerry. Go peddle stupid somewhere else. We’ve had our fill.

Another thing the loss in the desert proved is that the Cowboys remain a middle-of-the-pack kind of team.

Good teams take care of business against bad teams. Middle-of-the-pack teams almost beat good teams (see the Jets and Patriots games) and then lose a game or three to bad teams. Good teams play disciplined football. So-so teams have players like Orlando Scandrick nullifying big plays by committing braindead penalties at inopportune times.

Green Bay is a good team. New Orleans. Good team. Dallas…you know. So-so.

NFL.com features a headline today that reads, “Cardinals Shock Cowboys in Overtime.” Only someone that has not paid attention to the Cowboys for the past decade and a half would be shocked by that debacle in the desert.

Jerry Jones ought to have the world by the tail. If you are a sports fan and a fan of financial security, notoriety and power, you would likely trade places with him in a heartbeat.

But Jones’ thirst for recognition is beyond insatiable: it is irrational. Despite being the owner of three Lombardi trophies and the owner of a franchise that has won five of them, despite having built his dream stadium to the accolades of the world, despite owning one of the signature franchises in the world’s greatest sports league, Jones still smarts over not getting credit for the success of the early ’90s Cowboys.

How else do you explain Jones’ response to the suggestion that Jason Garrett consider hiring an offensive coordinator?

Last week, Jones made the following statement during an interview on 105.3 The Fan in Dallas:

“Jimmy was what I call a walk-around coach. [Bill] Parcells was a walk-around coach. Joe Gibbs is a guy who believes that the head coach needs to be in charge of either the offense or the defense and needs to be the coordinator. It brings you stature, it involves you in the game and gives you more respect with the players.

“It’s different schools of thought. I’ve always thought that Jason Garrett could handle coordinating as well as being the head coach.”

So, Jones, in defense of Garrett acting as his own coordinator elects to denigrate the achievement of two of his former coaches— two coaches that just happen to have among the most impressive resumès in NFL history?

Granted, Jerry was responding to Jimmy Johnson’s insistance that Garrett should hire an offensive coordinator, an opinion the former Cowboys’ coach shared during the Fox pregame show a week ago Sunday.

So, you might say that Jimmy fired the first shot.

Still, Jones’ return volley was an overreach of gargantuan proportions.

This past weekend, Johnson fired back at Jones by naming several “walk-around” coaches, including Tom Landry and Don Shula and reminded Jones that between them they have won 20 Super Bowls. He wondered aloud whether Jones thought such men had the respect of his players.

We are closing in on being 20 years removed from the glory of the ’90s Cowboys. Almost universally, Jimmy Johnson has been seen as the architect and driving force behind the three championships won by that team, though he was not even present for the third one.

The fact that Johnson is given so much credit has been the driving force behind most every decision Jerry Jones has made since.

Everything Jerry Jones does as the owner of the Dallas Cowboys appears to be for the purpose of building a successful team in such a way that he will get the credit. I am convinced he would rather not win another Super Bowl than win one and have to defer credit to someone else. Thus, he does things like bringing in Bill Parcells just long enough to rescue the franchise from the quagmire of mediocrity a decade of his insane selfishness placed it in.

All of this rancor and recriminations notwithstanding, Jason Garrett may be the perfect answer for both Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys fan. Garrett is, I believe, destined to greatness as an NFL head coach. He is also Jerry Jones’ very own, homegrown, hand-picked prodigy.

If Garrett wins it all, it may finally be a win-win for all.

Unless, of course, the world fails to give Jones credit for it.

It remains to be seen whether Rob Ryan has the ability to coach up a defense as brilliantly as his dad Buddy Ryan. One thing that is not in question is whether he is a renegade like his crusty old progenitor.

In his first-ever press conference as the Cowboys’ defensive coordinator, Rob Ryan bragged about what a great coach he was. He laced his braggadocio with profanity, as is his custom. He showed that brash, devil-may-care swagger so notably associated with the family name.

Now, Ryan has cost his new boss money. According to Pro Football Talk over at NBC Sports, “Several Cowboys players said before the lockout began that they had been talking to new defensive coordinator Rob Ryan about the team’s new defense.”

PFT reported that the Dallas Cowboys were fined for that action under the league rule that guarantees players a certain amount of downtime from supervised football. Apparently, the Cowboys weren’t the only team to violate the rule and receive the fine.

No doubt, Commissioner Roger Goodell is on that issue to keep it from becoming fodder for the NFL Players Association. During this hostile period of legal wrangling over the player lockout and haggling over the collective bargaining agreement, the last thing Goodell needs is for coaches like Rob Ryan to load the Players Association’s gun with “unfair labor” bullets.

But that is an aside. The point here is that Rob Ryan is going to bring the Ryan Family Circus to town with him. He is going to color outside the lines and foster controversy. If he doesn’t also bring a dominating defense that results in playoff wins, his act will get real tired real quick.

Bill Parcells once told Jerry Jones that the team had better win under him or they wouldn’t be able to stand him as a coach. He knew he created the kind of stressful atmosphere that could only be tolerated if the team was successful. Win and all sins are overlooked.

The same concept applies to Rob Ryan, only in a little different way. Sideshow Rob will cuss and make jokes and brag about his greatness and Cowboys fans will love him for it…if he wins. If the team does not succeed, if the Rob Ryan defense does not become dominant, The Ryan Family Circus will not long pitch a tent in Jerry’s World.

True Grit

In the past month, I have been privileged to talk to such legendary Cowboys as Randy White, Emmitt Smith and Jimmy Johnson. To a man, when the conversation turned to what went wrong with the 2010 Cowboys, the answer was that they were too soft, too undisciplined and just plain sloppy.

Here is what Jimmy Johnson had to say about the 2010 Cowboys: “ Talent-wise, I think the consensus is that the Cowboys were talented last year. I thought they were a sloppy team. They had too many penalties. They had too many crucial turnovers. That’s why they lost some of their close games.”

The great Randy White, Hall of Fame defensive tackle and one of the fiercest competitors ever to wear a star on his helmet, gave me his two cents on last year’s Cowboys team, as well.

“You have to make players work hard,” White told me. “You’ve got to make them accountable. You make them be there on time. Make them wear a coat and tie, like Coach Landry did. Little things like that add up at the end of the day, and it equates to winning on the field.”

White talked about how things were done when he was with the Cowboys.

“Discipline, accountability, work hard in practice. The little things that, when I played football, that’s what you did. That’s the way you did things, ever since I played little league football. You get there on time, you work hard in practice.”

Both Jimmy Johnson and Randy White were excited about the Jason Garrett hire. Jimmy talked about how Garrett has been preparing himself for this opportunity his whole life. Randy talked about the difference he saw in the team’s approach once Garrett took over in 2010.

Never quit!

Emmitt Smith also has high hopes for Jason Garrett. Here is what he had to say:

“I am excited for Jason… What I love is, by watching the Cowboys last five or six games of the season, I saw a different team. I know he implemented a couple of changes to the practice schedule and I think it paid off.

“It showed up in the areas where the Cowboys ran the ball very…um, well, I am not going to say very effectively, but they ran the ball better. Offensively, they started cutting down on some of the penalties. Defensively, they started getting turnovers, which is also important. And they started playing competitive football, which is most important.

“Give Jason Garrett a whole year to make his demands and expectations known to the team, in terms of the off-season training program and the in-season training program, and get them to buy into that, I think you will see a very different football team.

“One thing I can say about the Dallas Cowboys: They have always had talent around them. They have been one of the most talented football teams in all of football. With this type of focus and commitment from Jason Garrett, I think they can turn it around fairly quickly.”

None of these Cowboys legends ever mentioned former head coach Wade Phillips, the man one area writer dubbed Coach Cupcake. But they all implicated him in their criticism of the team’s softness. Thankfully, that era has come to a merciful end and the arrow, at least as far as coaching is concerned, seems to be pointed directly upward.

It took no time for Garrett to put his mark on the team. The change in regimen, wearing pads in practice, honoring the dress code, showing up for meetings on time, and meeting team standards and expectations seemed to breathe new life into the team.

After the Cowboys’ abysmal 1–7 start Under Wade Phillips, Garrett’s Cowboys finished the second half of the season 5–3. His offense averaged 29 points per game, and that was without starting quarterback Tony Romo. The defense, while still giving up way too much real estate, both by land and by air, was nonetheless feistier. They fought for 60 minutes.

The three losses under Garrett were by a combined seven points. The team was competitive.

Compare that to a 35–17 shellacking by the Jacksonville Jaguars under Phillips. Then, remember Jags’ QB David Garrard saying, “It just looked like they weren’t into the game the way an NFL team should be.”

Or compare the way Garrett’s troops fought to the the way the team lay down on Phillips in the game that finally convinced Jerry Jones that his puppet/coach had lost the team. That was a prime time Sunday night nationally televised humiliation at the hands of the eventual Super Bowl champions, the Green Bay Packers.

Final score: 45–7.

If there is NFL football in 2011, the Dallas Cowboys will be a drastically improved team just because of the change in leadership. I do not believe Jason Garrett will accept “almost” as “good enough.” Nor do I believe Rob Ryan will accept his defensive players making “business decisions” and electing not to attempt a tackle. (You have been warned, Mike Jenkins.)

This is Dallas, dadgum it. This is Texas. Football is king. Tackle football is king. We know what a real Cowboy looks like, and we won’t accept the drugstore kind.

We still remember the Landry mile, when Tom Landry would not only make his players run a mile on the first day of training camp: He ran it with them.

We remember an irate Jimmy Johnson’s lack of sympathy for a kicker when the player said he couldn’t run wind sprints because he had asthma.

“Asthma, my ass,” Jimmy barked. He then pointed to the parking lot and snapped, “The asthma field is over there.”

There is no crying in Cowboys football. No whining. No excuse-making.

With this in mind, I have borrowed from that legendary Texas songwriter, the great Willie Nelson, and put these sentiments into song. Sing it with me, now.

One more time now. Slow it down and sing it like it hurts…

Peas in a pod

DATELINE: Cowboys Stadium, Arlington, Texas— Silverandblueblood.com was invited to join  local print and television media for an exclusive event sponsored by Crown Royal. Just five days after Super Bowl XLV was played in Cowboys Stadium, legendary coach and Metroplex icon Jimmy Johnson lead two fearless flag football teams onto the turf of the world’s most magnificent football stadium.

Dubbed the Crown Royal Jimmy Bowl, the game was played between two contest winners and their hand-picked group of fortunate friends. The teams received pep talks and tips from the great “Jimmeh” himself.

Sand Spurs

The game was entertaining, but was not close. The Sand Spurs whipped Team America, 31–12. I am not sure if Jimmy was the winning coach, or if he both won and lost the game, since he was the inspirational leader of both teams.

After the game, I joined the other media in a Jimmy Johnson press conference, where the coach answered questions ranging from whether the Super Bowl should be played in Arlington again to how far the Cowboys are from the Packers’ level in terms of football talent. As always, Jimmy’s answers were crisp and laden with hot sports opinions.

Here is what Jimmy Johnson thinks about…

Super Bowl XLV

It was a great venue. This is an unbelievable stadium. I thought we had a great game. Probably 150 million people watched the Super Bowl here [162.9 million saw all or part, 111 million on average]. It was a great success. I know there was some controversy on some different things, but to me they were very minor. I know Fox television loved it, loved the ratings and loved the game.

Now, that is good company promotion. See the subtlety?

Whether the NFL should bring the Super Bowl back to Cowboys Stadium

Jimmy Johnson Press Conference

Without question. I know people are going to say the weather was bad, but the weather was bad throughout the country. From my understanding, it was the worst weather Dallas has had in 15 years. It caused so many problems you really couldn’t control. I know for myself, just being a fan, I’d love to see the Super Bowl come back to Dallas.

Yeah!

The interview with Jerry Jones before the Super Bowl

It went very well. Obviously I’ve been with Jerry before the stadium opened at the George Strait concert and the [Manny] Pacquiao fight. Jerry and I spent some time at his owner’s meeting party Thursday night. Jerry was great. He’s always been great to me. Dallas should be proud of him. If it weren’t for Jerry Jones, you’d never have the Super Bowl here.

Jimmy knows where the bread needs buttering. One of his most impressive abilities is his knack for knowing what to say and when to say it. The next topic is just one good reason it makes sense for Jimmy to love Jerry right now.

His name being touted for inclusion in the Cowboys Ring of Honor

Anybody that knows me, I’m not much for individual awards, especially in the ultimate team game. Obviously, I’d be honored, but it’s not a big thing to me. More than anything else, I’m happy for the players and happy for the team.

I almost believe Jmmy here. He is not without his ego and his pride. If he was, the Jerry–Jimmy clash would never have happened. That whole flap was the result of two massive egos, two alpha males, vying for supremacy.

Jimmy likely did not coach long enough in the NFL to warrant a Hall of Fame bid. He does deserve inclusion in the Ring of Honor, which is absolutely essential if he is ever to get any Hall of Fame consideration. He did, after all, win two Super Bowls and he built one of the great dynasties in NFL history in a very short period of time.

Charles Haley not being selected to the Hall of Fame

I was really, really disappointed. Charles Haley deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Charles Haley was instrumental in us winning three Super Bowls. That’s why I felt he was deserving.

Charles Haley is the only player in the history of the world (so far) to have five Super Bowl rings.

The controversy over seating issues during the Super Bowl

That’s part of the Super Bowl. More than anything else, I thought they were trying to accommodate as many people as wanted to be here. Both Green Bay and Pittsburgh are national teams…. A lot of people wanted to see this game.

About Jason Garrett as head coach of the Dallas Cowboys

Jason is a very passionate coach, very intelligent. He’s prepared himself well for this opportunity. He came down to the [Florida] Keys a couple of years ago and spent some time with me, just getting ready for the time he was to become a head coach. He’s prepared himself well. I see where he’s hiring Mike Woicik, my strength coach, who has six Super Bowl rings. Jason’s doing it the right way. I think they’ll be a drastically improved team over what they were a year ago.

About Rob Ryan for Cowboys’ defensive coordinator

I like him. I told Jerry I thought it was a great move. I’ve been impressed with what he’s done with defensive teams with both the Raiders and Cleveland. He’s got a lot of passion for the game. I think he’s a good mix for Jason Garrett. I think Ryan’s going to do an outstanding job with the defense.

About Jason Garrett acting as his own offensive coordinator

I’ve said this many times, and Jason knows it: Myself, I like the head coach to have his hand in all three phases. He can have his hand in all three phases and still be involved with one phase, but I still think if you’re actually doing the game plan, the play-calling, etc., I think it takes away from the other two phases. I prefer the head coach to be a delegator. But, of course, I like it that way because that’s the way I did it.

Some are so good; for instance, Norv Turner is such a great play caller, it would be a shame to take him away from calling plays for that offense. But if you are going to be successful that way, you have got to be really good with your assistant coaches, as far as the special teams coach and the other phase, the offense or defense.

I am with Jimmy on this. I like a head coach to be able to keep the big picture always in mind, during weekly preparation and on game day.

The size of the gap in talent between the current Cowboys roster and Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers

Talent wise, I think the consensus is that the Cowboys were talented last year. I thought they were a sloppy team. They had too many penalties. They had too many crucial turnovers. That’s why they lost some of their close games. Obviously, you always need more talent. You try to improve your team every year, but I don’t question the talent on this football team.

I love the way football people take shots at Wade Phillips’ coaching without taking shots at Wade Phillips’ coaching. Name no names. But the finger is clearly pointed at Wade.

You can listen to the audio of this interview using the player at the end of this article. Be warned: The first couple of minutes sound like we are doing the interview in Kabul. Something that looked like a riding lawnmower was going in the background. My three questions begin at around the 5:45 mark.

Rob "The Dude" Ryan

Don’t look now, Dallas, but your resident football genius and redheaded step-son, Cowboys’ head coach, Jason Garrett, has just hired “The Dude” from The Big Lebowski—aka, Rob Ryan— to whip your team’s defense into shape.

The Princeton scholar has hired a fellow who graduated from Clown College. Or was it Hamburger U?

Wait. It’s coming back to me, now. Rob Ryan attended Southwestern Oklahoma State University. I think the entrance exam there consists of one problem: “Spell ‘Princeton.’ If You cannot do that, hit this tackling dummy hard enough and you are in.”

I could be wrong about the entrance exam. One thing I do know: Anytime your college has a multi-directional name, it is not likely to be invited to any BCS bowl games or produce many Rhodes scholars. It may, however, be the perfect breeding ground for a defensive guru with a nasty disposition.

Will it work—this unlikely pairing of Garrett and Remus “Rob” Ryan? (That is right. If Wikipedia can be trusted, Rob’s given name is Remus. I cannot confirm that Rex’s given name is Butthead.)

Well, it just might.

Some matches are made in Heaven, they say. Some are decidedly hatched in hotter regions. We won’t know if the oddest couple to coexist n Dallas since Tex Schramm and Tom Landry will work until it does…or it doesn’t.

At first blush, I was against this hire, mainly because Rob is a Ryan, the son of Buddy and the brother of Rex. Rex has mostly kept his annoyances in the Northeast, but Buddy Ryan was Public Enemy Number One in Dallas for years.

Then, I remembered why we hated Buddy around here. It was because his Philadelphia Eagles team was good and he rubbed our royal football noses in it. How dare a blue-collared, green-jacketed yard gnome upstage the best-dressed man in football? How dare Buddy Ryan disrespect the legendary Tom Landry?

But the man could coach defense. Just ask the fifteen teams the 1985 Chicago Bears annihilated on their way to a near-perfect season and a resounding Super Bowl victory. Can you remember any other Super Bowl where the defensive coordinator of the victorious team was carried off the field on his players’ shoulders?

Rex Ryan seems to have his father’s knack for coaching up the “D” while rubbing every other cat in the NFL’s fur the wrong way. He also has his Jets—a team with an offense only slightly worse than that of the Trinity High School Trojans’ in Euless, Texas—in the AFC Championship game for the second consecutive year.

The Ryans are genetically predisposed to be bombastic, crude, in-your-face, and brimming with braggadocio and bravado. They are not above firing a shot across the enemy’s bow from the nearest media podium. They will call out players, argue with fellow coaches, and generally agitate.

The Ryans are also about defense—really, really good defense.

Jason Garrett, conversely, is about structure and discipline. He is about doing the right things the right way “each and every day.” That “each and every day” thing is his favorite crutch phrase. Or is it a whip, cracked in his players’ ears over and over until they hear it in their dreams?

Jason is also about innovative offense.

A successful coaching staff does not need to be homogenous. It doesn’t even have to be cohesive. (The Bears’ coach Mike Ditka once challenged his defensive coordinator, Buddy Ryan, to a fist fight at the halftime of a game.) It does need to be complementary. The strengths of one coach need to complement those of the other.

Rob Ryan will bring—along with an attacking, swarming 3–4 defense— a fire and passion to the sideline. He will inspire his players. He will hold them accountable, something Wade Phillips failed to do. And, he will not coddle them, something Phillips did with such fervor it made motherly look like a passing interest.

Ryan may be to the Cowboys’ sideline what the drunken uncle is to the family gathering. The adults hate to see him coming and hold their collective breath, wondering what he will say or do next. But if he wasn’t there, the whole affair would be drab and colorless. Atrophy would set in.

Besides, the kids love him.

Cowboys’ fans will love Rob Ryan, too, if “The Dude” can coach them up a nasty, play-making, slobber-knocking defense.

So will Jason Garrett.

Gotta love this YouTube fun bit…