Silver and BlueBlood

Something smelled fishy along the NFC’s offensive line in the fourth quarter of the Pro Bowl last night. The smell was so rank it raised a troubling question: did Pro Bowl 2010 feature two offensive linemen laying down on the job, giving defenders a free pass to the quarterback?

Tony Romo haters will point out that he is the perfect Favre clone: he makes all those magical plays all season long and then the final pass he throws for the season is to a member of the opposing team. Favre did it against the Vikings in the NFC title game. Romo did it in the Pro Bowl.

How apropos that Romo replaced Favre on the Pro Bowl roster. If you cannot get Favre, then Favre Light will have to do.

Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett detractors (count me in on at least half that equation) will see Phillips and Garrett coaching the losing team while their quarterback throws the deciding pick and say, “Where have we seen this before?”

We block like girls.

More astute observers, however, might note that, after three quarters of no one really getting near an NFC quarterback, Romo suddenly found himself under siege. It was all fun and games until the final quarter, and suddenly the quarterback is running for his life…in a Pro Bowl game?!

If it was just a case of the AFC defense sniffing victory and the winner’s $45,000 check, then that’s fine. Watching professionals play pitch and catch against matador defenders gets a little ho-hum anyhow. Read the rest of this entry »

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Shhh. Listen. Do you hear that? It is crickets chirping all over the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex and Dallas Cowboys Nation in general.

Jerry Jones announced yesterday that he is keeping Wade Phillips on as head coach, and besides the few radical fans that respond violently and vociferously to any piece of Cowboys’ news, his announcement was met by a collective yawn and a “Yeah. What else is new?” Read the rest of this entry »

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Old School still schooling the Kid

Just when I am reluctantly purchasing my ticket for the Keep-Wade Phillips-Around-Another-Year bandwagon, he reminds me why I hate myself for even thinking such a thing.

With the game still young, the offense moving the ball rather effectively, and the scoreboard clear of points, Ol’ Wade coached scared and stupid, sending in Sean Suisham to attempt a 48 yard field goal with the ball on the Vikings’ 31 yard line and only a yard shy of a crucial first down. Remember, this same Suisham is a former Cowboys’ castoff, a 2009 Redskins’ castoff, and a late-season addition to the team. He is not Mr. Clutch. Heck, I doubt whether he could even find the clutch in a standard-shift car.

Predictably, the oft-traveled, never-money kicker sent the ball wide of the upright and, consequently, sent Minnesota onto the field with excellent field position and a little wind in their sails. Read the rest of this entry »

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Here's your sign!

“What is crude, crass, classless, Alex.”

(Answer to the Jeopardy question: “What are the three best words to describe a typical Philadelphia Eagles fan?”)

So, Pulitzer candidate and editor of PhiladelphiaEagles.com Dave Spadaro hocked a loogie on the hallowed midfield Star at Cowboys Stadium before last Sunday afternoon’s game, recorded it on his web cam, and posted it to the Eagles’ website, thus forever endearing himself to the City of Brotherly Lust-For-Just-One-Super Bowl-Win-Please.

This from a representative of the organization whose classless coach Buddy Ryan once ordered to fake taking a knee in a game they had well in hand, and then fire a touchdown pass, adding insult to injury. This from the team whose fans gathered in mind-numbing temperatures in that toilet known as Veteran’s stadium to spit on opposing teams and pelt their players and coaches with everything from snowballs to batteries. Read the rest of this entry »

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Not quite there yet, Red

Many have clamored for Jason Garrett’s termination; I have not.

Some have noted a dearth of Jason Garrett criticism in my writing. While I have called Wade Phillips everything, but something good to eat and have been vocal on the notion that he is not the type of head coach this team (or any team with an eye toward the ultimate prize) needs, I have been less inclined to cram an editorial boot up the proverbial arse of the Cowboys’ offensive coordinator.

The reason for this apparent discrepancy is simple: I believe that Wade Phillips’ body of work as a head coach is sufficient to deem him unsuitable to take a team to an elite status and keep it there for any length of time. He has shown that his leadership skills are as wanting as his defensive schemes skills are effective.

He has managed to post a better-than-average regular season record (79-54), but has never won a single playoff game as a head coach.

Jason Garrett, on the other hand, is still young and relatively new to the position of offensive coordinator. Phillips is past 60 and set in his ways. He is what he is and that is what he is going to be. Garrett is 43 and still growing and developing as a coordinator.

Sure, there have been misfires. At times, it has appeared that Garrett lacked the ability to adjust on the fly. Sometimes, he has appeared to get stuck in one mode or another or he has worked too hard to shoehorn one player or another into the game plan.

Of course, the position of armchair offensive coordinator is quite easy. Any informed football fan can fill it. When you have the benefit of hindsight and the knowledge of how a play,a drive, or a game plan actually worked or failed to work, it is not difficult to draw up a better scheme in your mind.

But let’s not overlook the positive impact he has had on Tony Romo and the Cowboys’ offense.

Remember, it was just a season ago that Garrett was the hottest head coach prospect in the NFL. He was courted by the Baltimore Ravens and the Atlanta Falcons and it was reported he could have taken either of those jobs. The prospects of losing Garrett prompted Jones to make him the highest paid assistant coach in the NFL (and in the history of the league, for that matter). Phillips promoted Garrett, naming him assistant head coach.

Though it was denied, many assumed at the time that Jones and Garrett had some sort of gentleman’s agreement that made the highly-regarded coordinator the de facto head coach-in-waiting for the Dallas Cowboys.

Unfortunately Garrett’s freshman season, which saw him mold, guide, and direct one of the NFL’s most prolific offenses and help the Cowboys to a 13-3 regular season record, was followed by a sophomore flop. The 2008 edition of the Cowboys collapsed and crumbled at season’s end, closing out the season with humiliating losses to the Ravens and the Eagles.

They finished the season 9-7 and missed the playoffs entirely. Furthermore, after being ranked second in the NFL in points per game and third in yardage in 2007, the Cowboys fell to 18th and 13th respectively in ’08.

Suddenly, Jason Garrett’s rising star was seen more as a plummeting, gaseous meteorite, crashing into the Cowboys’ shiny new home. Crash and burn; yesterday’s hero became today’s goat.

”Get rid of the bum,” has been the cry of many.

Never mind that Tony Romo’s play has continued to improve and impress. The oft-maligned quarterback has now gone four consecutive games without throwing a pick for the first time in his career.

Never mind that an undrafted free agent wide receiver,Miles Austin,has begun to establish himself as one of the league’s best. Never mind that the running game has appeared formidable at times and unstoppable at others.

Never mind that the offense is currently ranked third in the NFL in yards gained. Never mind that we have never seen a team run a better draw play.

Never mind that every week Garrett shows a new wrinkle. Remember that play on the goal line against the Chargers, where they faked a screen pass on each side and then hit a wide open Patrick Crayton in the end zone?

It is true that the offense has stalled in the red zone more than a time or two. It is true that more than a few drives have ended with a deflating missed field goal by former kicker Nick Folk. It is true that the team’s point production does not jibe with the massive amounts of yardage they have racked up.

It is also true that patience is a virtue. It was not that many years ago that Sean Payton, the current offensive genius in the league, was being stripped of his play-calling duties in New York. Think anyone thought then that he would be what is he now?

Like Payton, Garrett has shown himself to possess an innovative offensive mind. Like Payton, Garrett appears to be a steadying influence on the sideline. Like Payton, Garrett has had to fight his way through the on the job learning curve.

I believe that, like Payton, Garrett will soon prove himself to be the winner we all believed he was in 2007. In fact, I am not entirely convinced that he is not the right man to take the helm in Dallas when Jerry finally says goodbye to Phillips. How is that for a minority opinion? The Republicans will get more say on health care than I will get supporters on that one, I am sure.

I know that after 13 years of frustration, Cowboys fans are not inclined to patience. That particular virtue is wearing thin. But, where Jason Garrett is concerned, it will pay off.

Believe that.

Popularity: 24% [?]

"Yo! Ice Cream Man. Over here!"

The Dallas Cowboys beat the Giants Sunday. If you do not believe me, just ask head coach Wade Phillips. He will delight in telling you all of the good things his team did that day. He will outline all of the ways his team won.

It was, after all, a record-setting day for Tony Romo and a record-tying day for Jason Witten. The defense played well…well, if you don’t count that ridiculous 74-yard Brandon Jacobs “scamper” (if a play that lasts long enough for you to order and receive a Papa John’s pizza can be called a scamper) on a simple swing pass. Special teams were special except for that one little breakdown on the 78-yard punt return for a TD. You know, the one where every Cowboy on the field and half the ones on the sideline had their hands on him, but couldn’t get him to the ground.

Being a Dallas Cowboys fan these days can create enough mixed emotions to cause internal bleeding. On the one hand, of course, you want your team to succeed. You want them to bury the Ghost of Christmases Past and finally show up for December football.

On the other hand, however, you are desperate – desperate - to be rid of a head coach that just doesn’t get it…and never will. Wade Phillips will always have an excuse. He will always take consolation in statistics. He will always defend himself. He will never accept responsibility. He will never demand excellence of his players. He will never command respect.

He will, however, remain the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys if Jerry Jones can find the least excuse to keep him around.

So, as a Cowboys fan, you want success in December, sure. You want your team to finally get a playoff win after thirteen embarrassing years of mediocrity, underachievement, excuses, and disappointment.

But is it worth it?

A conundrum is what it is. Does any football fan want to hear the coach of his favorite team whine like a middle school girl to a room full of media types?

“I coach them the way I want to coach them,” Phillips said in response to a question about whether he ever gets as angry with his players as he does reporters, “And you can report the way you want to report.”

We will, Wade. We will call it like we see it. And what we see is a team that lost an important divisional game because of mental breakdowns and give-ups on four huge plays Sunday. What we see is a team that went into the game against the Giants with sole possession of first place in the NFC East, and came out tied with the Eagles. What we see is the Giants nipping at your heels, a season sweep of your Cowboys in their hip pockets.

What we see is the calendar, Wade. It reads, “December.” What we see is another late-season loss. What we see is you down-playing the loss, defending your team and demanding nothing (well, nothing except the respect you so desperately want from the media).

What we see is a light at the end of a thirteen-year long tunnel and we hope it is an oncoming train…and that it carries you away…far, far away, to a place where Decembers don’t matter, where early season wins are just as important as playoff victories, where stat sheets are equal to scoreboards, where reporters never badger beleaguered coaches, and where “ifs and buts” really are candy and nuts.

It is a wonderful place where all of your dreams can come true, Wade. It is just too bad that Dallas Cowboys fans will be forced to endure one more nightmare just so you can dream.

Popularity: 6% [?]

I love you, man

Hines Ward, it is well-known by now, called out his quarterback Ben Roethlisberger on national television before the Pittsburgh Steelers – Baltimore Ravens game last Sunday. His comments dropped jaws all over NFL fandom, and sent shock waves through the Steelers’ locker room.

Roethlisberger, after practicing all week, cited headaches he was experiencing on Saturday (which were feared to be related to a concussion he suffered in the Steelers’ previous game) as the reason he and team doctors decided he would not play in the game against the Baltimore Ravens, a game with serious divisional and playoff implications.

Said Ward, “This game is almost like a playoff game. It’s almost a ‘must’ win. So, I can see some players or some teammates kind of questioning like, ‘Well, it’s just a concussion. I’ve played with concussions before. I would go out there and play.’ So, it’s almost like a 50-50 toss-up in the locker room. You know, should he play, shouldn’t he play. It’s really hard to say.”

Ward, apparently, was expressing frustration other Steelers’ players had expressed privately. Privately! In the locker room! The question is this: Why did the knucklehead receiver feel it necessary to take that frustration public? Why did he grab Big Ben and chunk him under the bus called Public Opinion? Why say any of that?

While listening, with jaw dropped, to Ward’s comments, I felt this eerie sense of deja vu. Where had I heard such comments by a receiver regarding the team’s quarterback before?

Wait! I remember. It was in Dallas. It came from the future hall of fame lips of one Terrell Owens. It was noise about secret meetings and covert game planning between quarterback Tony Romo, tight end Jason Witten, and offensive coordinator Jason Garrett.

Boo hoo. They are conspiring to keep me from getting the ball.

The result was a reputed divided locker room. Players like Roy Williams and Patrick Crayton were sucked into the vortex (or cesspool, if you prefer) created by T.O. They reportedly called for, and received, a private audience with Jason Garrett to air out their concerns.

The Dallas Morning News had this gem of a quote from the “disenfranchised” Terrell Owens:

“I’m not jealous of Witten. I’m not jealous of nobody. I can take the approach that I got paid, so screw everything, but that’s not me.

“I just want to win. I’m not trying to create a war of words with anybody. I thought we had a productive meeting, and I just talked to Jason about Tony reading the whole play because other people are open besides Witten.”

Yes, and when Terrell Owens implied that his former teammate and quarterback with the San Francisco 49ers Jeff Garcia was gay, well, it was just because he is so passionate about winning. And when he was a Philadelphia Eagle suggesting that the team would be better with Brett Favre than Donovan McNabb, he was all about winning. Nothing more.

Terrell Owens never met a locker room he could not divide. He never saw a ship his loose lips and “I love me some me” attitude couldn’t sink.

The Buffalo Bills are perfect for Owens. The team is going nowhere. They can focus on getting T.O. his “touches,” so he can celebrate meaningless touchdowns in meaningless games on a team going where he belongs: Nowhere.

Pittsburgh can keep Ward. Buffalo can have Owens. The Dallas Cowboys are just fine with Miles Austin, thank you very much.

Popularity: 12% [?]

two wild and crazy guys

One is eighty and the other pushing seventy. One looks like the skeletal remains of an aged 1930s Chicago-land gangster and the other like a Michael Jackson starter kit with his recent face work and new teeth.

One built the Raiduhhhhs into one of the NFL’s elite franchises and then systematically shredded it, piece by piece. The other resurrected America’s Team from its late ’80s shallow grave, restored it to its glorious place among the champions, and then, for the sake of his own fragile ego, ran the architect of the Cowboys’ resurgence out of town and started looking for hand puppets so he could coach the team without anyone really knowing it (though most everyone suspects it).

Between them, Al Davis and Jerry Jones have the ownership of eight Lombardi trophies, though Jones only actually participated in winning three of his franchise’s five. The Raiders have been to five Super Bowls under Davis, winning three of them. When he was sane (or at least crazy like a fox rather than just plain mad), the Raiders general managing partner built the team into an enviable organization.

He did it by emphasizing a down-and-dirty, take-no-prisoners defensive mindset; a hard-nosed, three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust running game; and a vertical, quick-strike passing game. He did it by signing players no one else would touch; mean suckers with a past, if not a rap sheet.

Jerry, conversely, made just the right hire for just the right time. He brought in a young, energetic, single-minded college football coach who would eat, drink, sleep football; divorce his wife; ignore his kids; and slave drive his staff until he got where he was going. And where Jimmy Johnson was going was just where Jerry dreamed it could be: to the very pinnacle of National Football League success. He was going – and dragging a giddy Jerry Jones along – to the place no team had been before. He was going to build a team that would win three Super Bowls in four years.

But Jimmy Johnson wouldn’t get that third ring.

Valley Ranch is an expansive football facility, but it could not house the enormously big heads of Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson…and Jones had the keys to the place. He paid the mortgage. In the divorce, Jimmy got hush money and Jerry got the Boys and the ranch. Jimmy got some gold, but Jerry owned the mine.

Meanwhile, fans of the Dallas Cowboys simply got the shaft.

Oakland Raiders’ and Dallas Cowboys’ fans know they owe a debt of gratitude to the men most responsible for making the right decisions, pulling the right triggers, and pushing the right buttons to get their teams to the status of storied franchise. Unfortunately, they also know that the line between genius and madness is razor thin and the cartoon-like leftovers of the teams’ owners/general managers are dancing like demented jesters all over that line.

Crazy like a fox is cool. Crazy as a mad hatter is sad.

One only needs to ask this question for perspective on the two teams’ current state of management: If either Jerry Jones or Al Davis were to fire himself as General Manager, would any other NFL team hire him as theirs?

I rest my case.

Dallas Cowboys. Oakland Raiders. Insanity in the owner’s box. Desperation on the field. Turkey and dressing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie on the table.

Happy Thanksgiving, America!

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