It has been 16 years since the Dallas Cowboys beat the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XXX. In those sixteen years, the Cowboys have made the playoffs just seven times. In those seven playoff appearances, they have managed to win but two games.

On January 1, 2012, the Cowboys needed to get one win at home against the New York Giants. Just one win and they would be NFC East champions and playoff bound. Of course, the Giants clobbered the Cowboys 31–14 and took the first step towards the unlikeliest Super Bowl triumph since the last time the G-men won the Super Bowl.

The game that catapulted the Giants into history relegated the Cowboys to ancient history. The team that was once considered the shining star, the flagship franchise of America’s greatest professional sports league is now all but irrelevant.

During the sixteen years since their last taste of glory, the Cowboys have wandered aimlessly through the Wilderness of Mediocrity. They have employed six head coaches and been led by seven different quarterbacks. But the man with the compass, the fearless leader of this ill-fated expedition is the only general manager the team has ever had under owner Jerry Jones.

That would be GM Jerry Jones.

Jones and those in his deluded company may console themselves by saying, “Look! The team that beat us to get into the playoffs won the Super Bowl.”

Bitter fans, however, will be incensed and say, “Look! The team that beat us to get into the playoffs won the Super Bowl.”

What Jerry sees as hopeful, the discouraged, disheartened, distrustful fan will see as hopeless.

Ah, Jerry Jones.

Here is a fellow that says, “Come with me. I know the way.”

But he keeps changing the map, altering the direction and getting nowhere. Long ago, it became painfully apparent to anyone paying attention that Jerry Jones does not know the way, he cannot read a map and when it comes to building and guiding a successful NFL franchise, he is as lost as a goose in the desert.

Meanwhile the Roman numerals keep rolling. Each passing Super Bowl is another mile marker along the Lost Highway for the driver that has no idea how to get there and is too stubborn to ask directions of anyone that does.

Somewhere a coyote howls, a tumbleweed ambles aimlessly across the lonesome prairie and Jerry Jones studies his map.

Susanna Kim of ABC News has written a sad, sorry story about former NFL sensation Terrell Owens.

Terrell Owens was despised by almost every fan of every team on which he did not play and by many on the teams on which he did. He was seen as selfish, self-centered, a Prima Donna. In San Francisco and Dallas, he was ultimately perceived as a team cancer. In Buffalo and Cincinnati, he was mostly a non-factor.

But Owens was bright. He was innovative. He was a showman. From dancing on the midfield star in Texas Stadium to hauling out a sharpie and signing a football after scoring a touchdown, Owens incensed the opposition and entertained the masses.

Owens possesses an infectious smile and a quick wit. He is also a special, Hall of Fame–caliber talent. He has all the traits that could have made him beloved by all.

All but one.

Owens never bought into the notion that there is no “I” in team. He always figured the best thing for whatever team he was on was for him to be the focus of the offense and the center of attention.

On the sidelines during one Dallas Cowboys game, Owens was captured screaming, “I love me some me!”

And he did love him some him, but apparently few others do these days.

Kim opens her article, Terrell Owens, the former NFL star receiver who has signed to play for and co-own an indoor football team, is friendless and nearly broke, he told GQ magazine. “I’m in hell,” Owens, 38, said he tells people who ask about his well-being.

Hardly the picture of a man reaping the rewards of an NFL career that garnered him a reported 80 million dollars in earnings.

Hardly the expected testimony of the man who once said, “Getcha popcorn ready, because it’s gonna be a show.”

Kim concludes her article, “I don’t have no friends,” [Owens] told GQ. ”I don’t want no friends. That’s how I feel.”

The sadness of this man is palpable. What a tragedy!

Did you ever hear the term “Good-Time Charlie?”

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a “good-time Charlie” as  a happy-go-lucky convivial man given to fun making, hilarity, and the general pursuit of amusement.

Terrell Owens was the NFL’s most colorful Good-Time Charlie. And what is wrong with that, really? There is nothing wrong with enjoying the ride.

Get ready. Here comes my analysis.

Someone has to be the life of the party and if you are that person to whom others naturally gravitate, more power to you. You make them laugh. You make them cry. You leave them wanting more. They all want to be you.

Cool.

But be careful, shining star, of listening too closely to the accolades. Be careful of making yourself the focal point of your own attentions. The crowd is fickle and glory fleeting. When the lights go out and the party ends, it will be those people you loved, those people in whom you invested, those people you made feel important that remain.

Be careful how you party, party hound.

Or, you may end up a party of one in a forsaken dive Owens called “Hell.”

It is time for a Jones family coup.

It is time for the Jones family to salvage what is left of their dignity and community status. This mess Papa Jerry Jones is making of the Dallas Cowboys threatens to destroy every shred of goodwill the people of Dallas/Fort Worth ever had for the Arkansas clan.

After the Cowboys concluded yet another disappointing, playoff-missing season with an 8-8 record, which they achieved by dropping four of their last five games, Jones was peppered with the usual questions about hiring a general manager.

The stubborn ol’ coot once again stood his ground, set his jaw and defiantly declared himself the best man for the job. At this point, exactly one person in the universe believes that to be true: Jerry Jones.

Jerry’s reasoning is beyond ridiculous.

David Moore of DallasNews.com shared the belligerent owner’s reaction to the idea of the Cowboys bringing a football man like Bill Polian on board as GM:

“I know we can do better, but I think there are some positives there.”

“I’d call on the very same kinds of influence and people and the information that someone like Bill Polian does.”

“The way we’re structured and the way it is, our fans need to understand that I have the ability to go get anybody and any bit of information that there is, sports or football, and I do. I go get it. We get it from a lot of sources.”

If you really listen to what Jones is saying, it is pretty clear that he has lost the last shred of sanity he possessed. He thinks that telling Joe Fan that he hasn’t been acting unilaterally all these years will make the mediocrity he has mired this club in easier to digest. He thinks he can fool the entire world. He thinks that if he can just make you understand that he really is the best choice for GM of the Dallas Cowboys, everything will be just fine.

But you ain’t buying it. Neither am I. Neither is anyone else in the known universe.

During the 15-year period from 1997–2011, Jerry Jones’ Cowboys have posted a regular season record of 120–120. They have been to the playoffs six times. They have one playoff victory.

The Dallas Cowboys plowed through five head coaches during the aforementioned span. Jason Garrett is coach number six. One of those coaches, Dave Campo (the current defensive backs coach), rode herd over three consecutive 5–11 teams.

We are not talking about the Cardinals here! This is the Dallas Cowboys. And these are the Dark Ages in this team’s storied existence. Fans of America’s Team continue to suffer through the longest Super Bowl drought in franchise history with no sign of relief on the horizon and no reason to hope for a better tomorrow.

Still, Jones says hiring a general manager would “deter from the mix” at Cowboys headquarters. This has to be among the most insane things the man has said to date. He is overseeing a faltering, failing organization but does not want to mess up the chemistry?

Huh?

Jerry “Nero” Jones continues to fiddle while Rome burns and nobody can do a thing about it. Unless…his own family joins together and overthrows the tyrant.

A Jones family coup may be the only thing that can save the Cowboys from the destructive force of an insane owner.

The Dallas Cowboys are under new ownership, and have been for awhile now.

No, I am not reporting that the Jones family has sold one of the world’s most valuable sports franchises. The ownership exchange has not been the result of an asset exchange. It has been more of a hostile takeover.

Let me explain.

Andy Reid owns the Dallas Cowboys

In 13 seasons as head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, Reid has posted a 17–9 record versus America’s Former Team. While the Cowboys have ventured past the first round of the playoffs but once in that span, Reid’s Eagles have won seven division titles, played in five NFC championship games and been to one Super Bowl.

Oh, by the way, the Cowboys have plowed through five coaches in those 13 years. They have, however, kept the same GM. Apparently, owner Jerry Jones is willing to let coach Andy Reid dominate his team year after year, just as long as GM Jerry Jones gets to keep deluding himself into believing he is a competent “football man.”

The thing Jones is most proud of these days is his shiny new $1.2 billion play pretty in Arlington. But he doesn’t own that, either.

Eli Manning owns Cowboys Stadium

The Giants were the Cowboys’ first-ever opponent in the new stadium. Eli & Company spoiled the grand opening by beating the Cowboys. Eli would add insult to that injury by signing the locker room wall after the game.

“First win in the new stadium,” Eli wrote.

It would not be his last. Manning has posted a 3–0 record in Arlington.

Manning is not the only Cowboys opponent enjoying success in the place ESPN analyst Chris Carter called, “That night club the Dallas Cowboys call a football stadium.” The Cowboys’ overall record (to date) in the new stadium is 14–11. That amounts to a .56 winning percentage, barely above .500.

Of course, the underwhelming performance in the new stadium has everything to do with the teams Jones and his cronies have fielded and little or nothing to do with the new digs.

December owns Tony Romo and his Dallas Cowboys

For Tom Landry, December was important. The legendary coach that lead his team to 20 straight winning seasons, five Super Bowl appearances and two Lombardi trophies talked about streaking into the playoff. He put emphasis on playing your best football when it counted most.

Romo would, apparently, disagree with Landry. The current Cowboys QB has posted a December record  8–13. But he feels like people that pay attention to that sort of thing are just silly.

John Machota of DallasNews.com quotes Romo on the subject:

“The problem with December sometimes is I don’t know how many times you’re out of the playoffs, in the playoffs,” Romo said. “That stuff plays a role. Sometimes you’re sitting starters. Sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you’ve got Philly, Baltimore and the Giants to finish the year.

“You need to make it over 15 years is what you need to do, not four or five years. It’s just silly. Any stat you can make over a short period of time. That’s four games. Stats are just stuff, in that regard, they come and go with whatever’s in vogue recently.”

See? Stop worrying about how the Cowboys perform in December, you silly ol’ fan.

Who really owns the Dallas Cowboys? Jerry Jones does, of course! And he does not care how far into the ground he has to grind the once-proud franchise in order to prove it is his team and he will run it his way.

And so, if you are that lifelong fan that refers to the Dallas Cowboys as “my team,” you will just have to come to the stark realization these are not your Daddy’s Cowboys. They are not yours, either.

These Cowboys belong to Jerry “Blankety-Blank” Jones…and Andy Reid…and Eli Manning…and the cold, lonely howl of a lost December.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

And I am still having a hard time believing what happened in this tale of two cities, two teams, and two football fates.

With a 12-point lead and just over five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, the Dallas Cowboys managed to squander what would have been a formidable division lead and lose a gut-wrenching, heart-rending, back-breaking game to the New York Football Giants.

Final score: 37–34.

As soon as the punch-drunk, dumbfounded Cowboys fan sobers up, he will want to know whose fault this is. To whom do we assign blame for this epic meltdown?

The usual suspects will be scrutinized first.

Coach Jason Garrett, fresh off the debacle in the Arizona desert and the worst day of his brief head coaching career, will get his share of crotch-kicks. There will be the usual complaints of how he should have run here or thrown there or done something else that might have saved the game.

Tony Romo will be targeted. By football idiots, mostly.

Romo was 21 for 31 with 321 yards passing. He threw four touchdowns and no interceptions. He did take a sack in his own end zone to start the game. He also missed a crucial downfield pass to Miles Austin that would have sealed the win.

Let us not forget, however, that, after the Giants had taken the lead and left but 46 ticks on the clock, Romo drove his Cowboys from their own 20 yard line to the Giants’ 30 and set up rookie kicker Dan Bailey for a game-winning field goal.

I guess Romo could have played interior line on the kick team and blocked Pierre-Paul to keep him from blocking the FG attempt. Other than that, I am not sure what more you could have asked of him on that last drive.

If you are blaming Romo for this loss, you either did not watch the game or have no clue about the game of football. Romo was solid with flashes of brilliance. His offense racked up 444 net yards and hung 34 points on the world’s biggest scoreboard.

Um, hello? That ought to be enough offense to win a home game in the National Football League. If you are too silly to understand that, then please refrain from watching football and stay away from sharp objects and Sudoku puzzles. We don’t want you hurting yourself.

So, whom do we blame?

How about Rob Ryan and the vaunted Ryan family tradition of blitzing every down, whether it is working or not? How about the uber-blitzing, coverage-blowing, 510 yards-and-37 points-yielding, Swiss cheese defense?

How about mixing in a defensive stop every now and then, especially when the game is on the line and your offense has presented you with a 12-point lead and just 5:30 to kill?

How about not lining Gerald Sensabaugh up 35 yards from the line of scrimmage so that he cannot even lend assistance on a 19-yard Eli Manning pass that looked more like a punt? May as well have sent your safety for a couple dozen Krispy Kremes. He was closer to the Krispy Kreme on Cooper Street than he was the line of scrimmage.

How about maybe not holding a receiver that was running into double coverage anyway, Frank Walker?

How about not sending DeMarcus Ware onto the field with his shoulder screaming and his arm hanging limply at his side, especially when Victor Butler is playing well in his stead? The result of putting the ailing superstar back into the game: two crucial neutral zone infractions.

This was a massive loss, a meaningful loss, with major implications.

It was another reminder that this Dallas Cowboys’ team is not ready to be called elite. They could not defend their home stadium. They could not defend their goal line. So, it is no surprise they were unable to defend their slim division lead.

They lost a game they could have won and there is plenty of blame to go around.

Blame it on Rob Ryan. Blame it on the defensive backfield for getting toasted at the end of the game. Blame it on the defensive front’s inability to put much pressure on Manning. Blame it on Jerry Jones and that deal he made with God (or was it the Devil?) back in the ’90s.

Heck, blame it on a gutsy performance by the Giants or the “brilliance” of Eli Manning’s quarterback play. But, don’t blame me. Don’t blame yourself.

And just once, please, don’t lay all the blame on Tony Romo.

Sunday was a familiar sight for beleaguered fans of America’s erstwhile Team.

Phoenix, Arizona is not known as a tough place to win a football game. Unless, of course you are the Phoenix Cardinals or the Dallas Cowboys. Historically, the Cardinals have struggled to win football games anywhere (with one brief Kurt Warner-induced respite) unless they are playing the Cowboys.

This Cowboys 19–13 overtime loss to the Cards had no business going to overtime and no business being a loss. Because it was both, it proved to be business as usual.

This loss also proved a few other things…

It proved Jerry Jones, the World’s Dumbest Billionaire (not an official title, but I am working on it), is wrong again. When he derisively called Jimmy Johnson a “walk-around coach” and intimated that it is better to have your head coach serve as his own offensive coordinator, he was dead stinking wrong.

At the end of regulation, Garrett apparently got lost on the sideline. He had two timeouts in his pocket and failed to use either of them when he should have. The Cowboys were driving for the winning score. A timeout would have bought them the opportunity to claim more of the Cardinals’ real estate and get rookie kicker Dan Bailey an easier shot at kicking a game-winning field goal.

Garrett eschewed using a timeout until his kicker was lining up and making a game-winning field goal. Then, at the last second, the Cowboys’ coach became the first in NFL history to ice his own kicker. As the ball sailed between the uprights, the referee was blowing the whistle and awarding the head coach/offensive coordinator his timeout.

Saying a head coach is better off serving as his own coordinator is almost as stupid as saying a team owner should serve as his own General Manager. Sunday was Exhibit A for Jimmy Johnson’s argument against a head coach bogging himself down in the minutia of coordinator duties. It is almost impossible to consider the big picture and control all the dirty details simultaneously.

Garrett’s inability to manage the clock and game strategy at the most crucial time in the contest is beyond inexplicable. it is inexcusable.

So, shut up, Jerry. Go peddle stupid somewhere else. We’ve had our fill.

Another thing the loss in the desert proved is that the Cowboys remain a middle-of-the-pack kind of team.

Good teams take care of business against bad teams. Middle-of-the-pack teams almost beat good teams (see the Jets and Patriots games) and then lose a game or three to bad teams. Good teams play disciplined football. So-so teams have players like Orlando Scandrick nullifying big plays by committing braindead penalties at inopportune times.

Green Bay is a good team. New Orleans. Good team. Dallas…you know. So-so.

NFL.com features a headline today that reads, “Cardinals Shock Cowboys in Overtime.” Only someone that has not paid attention to the Cowboys for the past decade and a half would be shocked by that debacle in the desert.

Jerry Jones ought to have the world by the tail. If you are a sports fan and a fan of financial security, notoriety and power, you would likely trade places with him in a heartbeat.

But Jones’ thirst for recognition is beyond insatiable: it is irrational. Despite being the owner of three Lombardi trophies and the owner of a franchise that has won five of them, despite having built his dream stadium to the accolades of the world, despite owning one of the signature franchises in the world’s greatest sports league, Jones still smarts over not getting credit for the success of the early ’90s Cowboys.

How else do you explain Jones’ response to the suggestion that Jason Garrett consider hiring an offensive coordinator?

Last week, Jones made the following statement during an interview on 105.3 The Fan in Dallas:

“Jimmy was what I call a walk-around coach. [Bill] Parcells was a walk-around coach. Joe Gibbs is a guy who believes that the head coach needs to be in charge of either the offense or the defense and needs to be the coordinator. It brings you stature, it involves you in the game and gives you more respect with the players.

“It’s different schools of thought. I’ve always thought that Jason Garrett could handle coordinating as well as being the head coach.”

So, Jones, in defense of Garrett acting as his own coordinator elects to denigrate the achievement of two of his former coaches— two coaches that just happen to have among the most impressive resumès in NFL history?

Granted, Jerry was responding to Jimmy Johnson’s insistance that Garrett should hire an offensive coordinator, an opinion the former Cowboys’ coach shared during the Fox pregame show a week ago Sunday.

So, you might say that Jimmy fired the first shot.

Still, Jones’ return volley was an overreach of gargantuan proportions.

This past weekend, Johnson fired back at Jones by naming several “walk-around” coaches, including Tom Landry and Don Shula and reminded Jones that between them they have won 20 Super Bowls. He wondered aloud whether Jones thought such men had the respect of his players.

We are closing in on being 20 years removed from the glory of the ’90s Cowboys. Almost universally, Jimmy Johnson has been seen as the architect and driving force behind the three championships won by that team, though he was not even present for the third one.

The fact that Johnson is given so much credit has been the driving force behind most every decision Jerry Jones has made since.

Everything Jerry Jones does as the owner of the Dallas Cowboys appears to be for the purpose of building a successful team in such a way that he will get the credit. I am convinced he would rather not win another Super Bowl than win one and have to defer credit to someone else. Thus, he does things like bringing in Bill Parcells just long enough to rescue the franchise from the quagmire of mediocrity a decade of his insane selfishness placed it in.

All of this rancor and recriminations notwithstanding, Jason Garrett may be the perfect answer for both Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys fan. Garrett is, I believe, destined to greatness as an NFL head coach. He is also Jerry Jones’ very own, homegrown, hand-picked prodigy.

If Garrett wins it all, it may finally be a win-win for all.

Unless, of course, the world fails to give Jones credit for it.

And that's all I have to say...

You may have noticed a lack of activity around here recently. In addition to my current deployment (now in its sixth month), I confess I have just grown weary of pointing out everything that is wrong with this thing we can scarcely remember as the Dallas Cowboys, America’s Team.

My Mom, like a million other moms, said, “If you cannot say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.”

Clairee, the delightfully ornery character in the movie Steel Magnolias said, “If you can’t say something nice, come sit by me.”

Forrest Gump talked on a park bench for what appeared to be hours and concluded each subject with the words, “And that’s all I have to say about that.”

My wife thinks I should focus on being more positive. Since I have to consider that she may be right, I just don’t want to look too closely at the mess Jerry Jones— the ONE NFL GM that can never be fired no matter how utterly clueless he proves himself to be— has made of the team I am still trying very hard to love.

See? I cannot do it. I cannot say anything nice.

I tried, baby. I’m sorry.

And that is all I have to say about that.

This morning, I am afflicted with Tony Romo Disease: A particularly nasty virus that leaves a writer dazed, confused and all but paralyzed.

There are so many ways to go with a Dallas Cowboys morning-after-the-train wreck article, I find myself staring at the keyboard.

There is so much to say, I find myself dumbfounded.

I could suggest to the mayor of Detroit that he present Tony Romo with the key to the city. And why not? Romo handed the keys to Cowboys Stadium to that beaten down city’s NFL football club. When the Lions could do nothing to help themselves, Romo provided that helping hand the Motor City has so long needed.

I could suggest to Jason Garrett that he pull Romo in the fourth quarter if his team has the lead and play him if the team is down. And why not? What QB has equal flair for single-handedly blowing big leads and guiding unlikely comeback victories?

I could float the theory that God is holding Jerry Jones to that deal he glibly joked about making with the Almighty in order to get that third Super Bowl win in the ’90s. Jones told that one on a 60 Minutes interview a year or so back.

On a similar note, I could muse as to whether Cowboys Stadium is cursed in some way. Think about it: After watching Texas A&M blow a 35–17 halftime lead, did you think there was any way in the wide world of sports a team could have a bigger meltdown on that very same field that very same weekend?

Me neither.

I could defend Tony Romo as the Cowboys’ best option at quarterback.

Or, I could finger Romo as the primary reason the Cowboys will not enjoy ultimate success any time soon.

Either way, I would be right.

Instead, since I am speechless, numb, dumbfounded and bewildered, I will let the inimitable Bob Costas say for me exactly what I was thinking…

“Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.”

Dallas Cowboys’ wide receiver Dez Bryant has apparently receive a criminal trespass warning from the Dallas police department and has been banned from the NorthPark Center Mall in Dallas, WFAA News in Dallas reported yesterday.

The report on WFAA.com reads, in part, like this:

According to the official police report, Bryant and three friends were stopped by the uniformed, off-duty officers working security shortly before 8 p.m. at the popular shopping center after they were observed “wearing their pants halfway down their hips exposing their underwear.”

The police asked the men to pull their pants up.

“Mr. Bryant’s response to the request was profanity laced and [NorthPark] center representatives felt the outburst merited a request for Mr. Bryant to leave the premises,” according to a Dallas police statement issued Tuesday evening.

“What the [expletive] are you stopping me, like I stole something,” Bryant was quoted as saying by a News 8 source. “I’m not leaving until my attorney and my representative get here.”

The report goes on to say that even after Bryant was escorted out of the mall by off-duty officers, he refused to leave. He parked his car in the fire lane and continued to cuss the cops until they were compelled to call on-duty police to the scene.

Apparently, the warning Bryant received means that if he returns to the mall before the 90-day ban ends, he could be subject to arrest.

Dez, of course, played it down when he gave his own brief account of the story on Twitter (where all accounts are brief).

The Dallas Cowboys wide receiver tweeted. The real story has been put out on 103.3.. It’s really a non story..the media need something to talk about.anyway how has everyone day been?

Dez, whose Twitter handle is @DEZ_88, “Headed to North Park tomorrow to get these Lebrons….I am not banned from North park lol.”

While Dez has been adamant about the whole thing being distorted and blown out of proportion by the media, his agent Eugene Parker and the Dallas Cowboys have yet to say anything about the incident.

Breaking a mall dress code is certainly not a major issue, but the incident is the latest reminder of what happens when you mix immaturity with money and fame. Young people are more prone to bad decisions. Experience is a sometimes harsh teacher. It is also a teacher that takes its time getting its point across.

Think of the mistakes of your youth. Are you not glad they were mostly made in anonymity? Aren’t you relieved that not a single news entity cared enough to pursue the story of your stupidity?

With fame and fortune comes the white hot spotlight of scrutiny. With privilege comes responsibility. Most mature adults understand the implications of that. Testosterone-filled kids often do not.

You remember the guy singing “Pants on the Ground” at American Idol a couple years ago? How old was he?

Right! Old.

All that said, Jerry Jones and company have to be just a little knotted up this morning. Dez Bryant slid to them in the first round because people feared the knucklehead factor with this guy.

Jerry has to be hoping the outrageously talented receiver pulls his pants up, screws his head on straight and stays out of the news until his next circus catch on the football field.

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