Silver and BlueBlood

Deuce-Deuce is da One

Emmitt Smith was a no-brainer for the 2010 NFL Hall of Fame selection committee. One wonders whether his presenter had to do any more than stand and say, “Emmitt Smith: I rest my case.”

Despite his Hall of Fame credentials, Emmitt Smith is still a lightening rod. Most people outside Dallas do not think of him as the greatest running back in NFL history. Heck, most people in Dallas don’t either.

Most people I have talked to, read, or listened to have said he was not even the best running back of his own generation. That honor is usually bestowed on Barry Sanders, the Detroit Lions’ running back whose premature— and unexpected— retirement paved the way for Emmitt to be the first and (to this point) only runner to surpass the legendary Walter Payton on the NFL’s all-time leading rusher list.

Emmitt Smith was a triplet.

He was not born a triplet. Rather, he became one upon being drafted by the Dallas Cowboys. He, Quarterback Troy Aikman and Wide Receiver Michael Irvin would become the three-pronged offensive attack of the 1990s’ greatest NFL team. Together, they won three Super Bowls in four years. Together, the were shock and awe, slice and dice, score and strut all rolled into one dynamic silver and blue package.

Still, Emmitt is met with mixed reaction in the very city where he forever immortalized himself and forced his way into Canton. Some see him as the most self-absorbed of the Triplets. Emmitt often came across as being a team guy when being a team guy was best for Emmitt. While Michael Irvin might incur a fine for throwing a ball to some sick kid in the stands after he scored a touchdown, Emmitt meticulously had each touchdown ball marked and placed in a chest for safekeeping. Of course, that same Emmitt would famously play with a badly hurt shoulder when his team needed him most.

Some see Emmitt as selfish; others as singularly focused.

However you see him, it cannot be denied that the man squeezed every ounce of accomplishment out of his own talent. He was not the fastest running back in the NFL. Far from it. He was not the strongest. He was not the shiftiest. He was not the most fluid. He was, however, one of the best to ever carry a football.

Should you doubt his greatness, let me throw just a fistful of facts your way:

• Emmitt Smith is the NFL’s all-time leading rusher with 18,335 yards. Let that sink in a moment. Think of all the great backs that have graced the league. He stands alone and above them all in sheer number of yards gained.
• He was the first back in NFL history to rush for 1400 yards or more every season for five consecutive seasons.
• He rushed for 1000 yards or more 11 seasons in a row!
• He had 164 career rushing touchdowns.
• He had 19 rushing touchdowns and seven 100-yard rushing performances in postseason play.

Smoove Operator

These in no way represent all of his accomplishments, but if you aren’t convinced of his greatness by now, you don’t need more facts: you need a signed note from a doctor certifying your sanity.

Indomitable, irrepressible, incomparable, incoherent, illiterate…

These are just a few words used to describe the great Emmitt Smith. As great as his unlikely on-field accomplishments were, his off-field communications and antics have been equally great (or at least good for a laugh). From winning the Dancing with the Stars contest to stumbling over whether a team is “blown” or “blowed” out to predicting a 7-9 finish for the 2009 Cowboys, the off-the-field limelight has been more of a harsh glare than a warm glow for Smith.

Perhaps Emmitt’s greatest hall of fame moment as a world-class butcher of logic and language came in his infamous “We Had Some Diamonds” quote, which can be heard on the MP3 player at the end of this article.

The exact quote is as follows: “We had some diamonds, but we had a lotta cow poo poo around it, and the diamonds was mixed in with the poo poo…it just all look like poo poo.”

Try diagramming that sentence.

Another collection of Emmitt nuggets:

Is Emmitt a no-brainer for the NFL Hall of Fame? That question doesn’t even warrant an answer, because it shouldn’t be a question at all.

Moreover, if there were a Hall of Fame for professional athletes who lack communicative and cognitive skills (maybe we could call it the No Brain Hall of Fame), you would have to assume Emmitt Smith would be a first-ballot selection there, as well.

So, congratulations to hall of famer Emmitt Smith. He made our jaws drop and our ears bleed. He made us hit the rewind button and question our own sanity. He made us proud. He made us cheer. He made us laugh.

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He was a world famous athlete before he joined the Dallas Cowboys. Already a world record holder in the 100 meter dash and the owner of an Olympic gold medal, “Bullet” Bob Hayes was known as the the fastest man in the world. In 2009, he remains the only man to ever earn an Olympic gold medal and a Super Bowl ring.

The Bullet!

Bob Hayes changed the game of football. He was fast, sure, but as former Cowboys master scout Gil Brandt pointed out, he was not a track man who tried his hand at football; he was a football player who excelled on the track field.

Bob Hayes impacted the game of football immensely. In a day when the run was dominant in the NFL, Hayes averaged twenty yards per reception. He scored a touchdown every five times he touched the football. Eighteen times, Bob Hayes scored touchdowns of fifty yards or more. And even though he retired in 1974, and has been succeeded by wide receiver greats like Drew Pearson and Michael Irvin, Hayes still holds the Dallas Cowboys’ record with 71 career touchdown receptions.

It is a shame of monstrous proportions that Bob Hayes was posthumously enshrined in pro football’s greatest fraternity. Hall of Fame voters, though they may never admit it aloud, held his post-career legal problems against him. He did some hard time for drug trafficking and that was all the excuse the anti-Cowboys faction in the northeast needed to rob him of the honor he has long deserved. The NFL Hall of Fame is supposed to consider the on-the-field contributions of players – that and nothing else. If they had done that with Bob Hayes, he would have been in Canton to personally accept the honor and see his bust where it belonged.

Of course, the same Hall of Fame voters ignored the drug problems of New York Giants’ great, Lawrence Taylor, and enshrined him as quickly as possible. He deserved the honor. So did Hayes. Both men changed the way the game was played. Taylor redefined the position of linebacker, especially as it related to rushing the quarterback, and Hayes is credited with prompting the implementation of the bump-and-run defense because of his blazing speed.

While Cowboys fans everywhere understand that this is a time for celebration, we are also reminded of the backlash from being fans of a team that plays in Dallas and counts three major east coast media markets as its chief rivals. The evidence is too great to ignore the bias that kept players like Hayes and Rayfield Wright out of the Hall of Fame for so long…and continues to deny players like Cliff Harris and Drew Pearson their place among the all-time greats of the NFL. It is telling that Bob Hayes is only the eleventh Dallas Cowboy to be enshrined in Canton…especially when you consider the great teams the Cowboys fielded in the late ’60s, the ’70s, the early ’80s, and the early to mid ’90s.

Bob Hayes’ biography on the official site of the NFL Hall of Fame includes the following paragraph:

Hayes demonstrated time and again that he possessed tremendous football skills and instincts that helped him to develop into a terrific NFL wide receiver. Still, his world class speed was a major factor in his and the Cowboys offensive successes. “Bullet Bob” terrorized defensive backs and demanded the kind of deep double coverage rarely seen in the NFL at that time. It is often said that the bump and run defense was developed in an attempt to slow down the former Florida A&M running back.

Kind of makes you want to ask the voters, “Did you just now figure that out? Or did you know it all along and vote him down anyway? Why did it take the old-timer’s voters to finally get “Bullet” Bob the recognition he deserves?”

They were only about thirty years late. Better late than never just doesn’t seem quite good enough.

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The NFL Network recently offered an episode in its Top 10 series in which they named their top ten Dallas Cowboys of all time. While the names on their list are all undeniably great, they used flawed logic in their selections. I intend to set the record straight by giving you the real top ten Cowboys of all time.

First, the NFL Network’s Top 10:

1. Tom Landry
2. Roger Staubach
3. Michael Irvin
4. Bob Lilly
5. Emmitt Smith
6. Troy Aikman
7. Tony Dorsett
8. Randy White
9. Don Meredith
10. Drew Pearson

The biggest flaw in the Network’s approach was their allowing a non-player on the list. Tom Landry certainly ought to be considered the number  one greatest Cowboy of all time on any list that included players and coaches. But if you include coaches, then you have to consider Jimmy Johnson. Moreover, if you include coaches, then what about front office personnel and ownership? Clint Murchison, Tex Schramm and Gil Brandt might have something to say about any list that was not restricted to players.

For that reason, in my estimation, the lists ought to be kept separate. Make one for players and another for non-players.I, therefore, present for your approval the top ten players to ever wear the Star on their helmet.

As with any good list, I will start at the bottom and work my way to the (drum roll) top.

10. Drew Pearson – Drew has yet to be honored with membership in the ring of honor, let alone the NFL Hall of Fame. Still, without his production and contribution, the ’70s Cowboys would never have made five Super Bowl appearances in ten years.

9. Mel Renfro – The greatest defensive back in team history, Renfro earned ten Pro Bowl honors in his first ten years in the NFL. As a rookie, he led the team with seven interceptions and led the league in punt and kickoff return average. Mel is a member of the NFL Hall of Fame and the Ring of Honor.

8. Michael Irvin – He was one of the Triplets of the ’90s, and the spiritual leader of that team. His off-the-field antics aside, Irvin was recognized by teammates and opponents alike as the hardest-working, most fiercely competitive member of one of the greatest teams in NFL history.

7. Lee Roy Jordan – For fourteen years, Jordan was a fan favorite. He was supposed to be too small and too slow to play middle linebacker. He proved he was neither. Jordan was named to five Pro Bowls and was also named All-Pro once. He remains perhaps the greatest linebacker in team history (although, DeMarcus Ware may have something to say about that some day.)

6. Tony Dorsett - It pains me not to put Dorsett higher. He is one of my all-time favorite football players. He was pure poetry in motion. When he arrived at the University of Pittsburgh they had gone 0-11. His senior year, they were 11-0 and national champions. When his college days were done, he was the all-time leading rusher in the NCAA and remained such until Ricky Williams finally surpassed him twenty years later.  Until the Herschell Walker trade, the trade with the Seahawks for the draft pick that would become Tony Dorsett was the greatest draft day coup in team history. Dorsett would go on to win offensive rookie of the year, gain nearly 13,000 yards in his career and anchor the running game for two Super Bowl teams.

5. Randy White – Dubbed the “Manster” – half man, half monster – Randy White remains one of the greatest defensive linemen in NFL history. He was named to nine consecutive Pro Bowls and was selected All-Pro each of those nine seasons (1977-85). He was NFL Defensive Lineman of the Year in 1978 and was co-MVP of Super Bowl XII. If not for number two on this list, I would have Randy ranked higher and name him the greatest defensive player in team history.

4. Emmitt Smith – Emmitt was too slow to be a great halfback. Everybody knew that. Everybody but Emmitt, who set his eyes on a huge prize and pursued it relentlessly until he had achieved it. That prize was the revered all-time rushing record, held at the time by the great Walter Payton. By the time he retired, Emmitt was the NFL’s all-time leading rusher and had been one of the key components of the football machine that claimed, for the first time in league history, three Super Bowls in four years. That said, he remains my second-favorite Dallas runner. I would take Tony any day. However, with Emmitt’s mind-boggling, odds-defying accomplishments, he deserves this number four spot.

3. Troy Aikman – The first overall pick in the 1989 draft, Troy spent his rookie season playing a human pinata. He got the stuffing kicked out of him as he languished on the worst team in franchise history. The Cowboys only won one game that year. That could have been disastrous. Such experiences often are to young quarterbacks. But Troy had “it.” He had that intangible quality that makes a man a leader, a winner. He would guide his team to four consecutive NFC title games and three Super Bowl victories in that four-year span…and would only be a seven-year veteran when it was done. He made five straight Pro Bowls and six overall. He was All-Pro three times. He resurrected the franchise from the grave known as the late 80s.

2. Bob Lilly – The Cowboys first-ever draft pick remains the best first-round pick they have ever made. Bob Lilly was recognized by many as the greatest defensive lineman of his generation. The official website of the Pro Football Hall of Fame says this about Lilly:

For…14 seasons, his play on defense was so outstanding that he became popularly known as “Mr. Cowboy.” Bob starred as a defensive end in 1961 but then moved to a defensive tackle spot in his third season with even more sensational results. As a tackle, Lilly was a first-team All-NFL choice every year from 1964 through 1969, then again in 1971, and 1972. The only years he missed first-team honors was his final two seasons in the league and in 1970 when he was a second-team choice.

Equally effective as both a pass rusher and a rushing defender, Lilly continually battled double-team and even triple-team opposition but he rarely was delayed in his pursuit of the ball carrier. Quick, agile and coordinated, he even scored four touchdowns in his career. One came on a 17-yard interception return in 1964 while the other three came on fumble recoveries. Altogether, he returned 18 fumbles for 109 yards.

Lilly would easily have been number one, if not for…

1. Roger Staubach – I came into full football consciousness in the 1970s. It was a great time to be a Dallas Cowboys fan. They made five Super Bowls in a ten year span. The team was stacked with men who played the game at the highest possible level. Great names like Dorsett, Garrison, White, Renfro, Pugh, Jordan, Martin, and Jones patrolled the gridiron with ferocity and a deep-seated dedication to excellence. It was the era of the DoomsDay and DoomsDay II defenses. It was the time of the Dirty Dozen rookies. It was glorious. But above them all, leading men into battle like the soldier and warrior he had always been was Roger Staubach.

Captain America

Every Dallas Cowboy fan of that era knew that, regardless the score, if Roger “Dodger” “Captain America” Staubach was on the field, our team was never out of it. He was the king of the comeback. The greater the pressure, the better he played. Again, I let the HoF website speak:

Roger Staubach joined the Dallas Cowboys as a 27-year-old rookie in 1969 and didn’t win the regular quarterbacking job from until his third season in 1971. But for the nine seasons he was in command of the potent Cowboys attack, the Dallas played in six NFC championship games, winning four of them, and also scored victories in Super Bowls VI and XII.

The 6-3, 200-pound Staubach wound up his career after the 1979 season with an 83.4 passing rating, the best mark by an NFL passer up to that time. His career chart shows 1,685 completions in 2,958 passing attempts, which were good for 22,700 yards and 153 touchdowns.

Making Staubach particularly dangerous was his ability to scramble out of trouble – his 410 career rushes netted him 2,264 yards for a 5.5-yard average and 20 touchdowns. He led the NFL in passing four times. He was also an All-NFC choice five times and selected to play in six Pro Bowls.

So many great players have worn that star on their helmet, it seems almost a shame to even make a list like this. But, hey, as David Letterman knows, everyone loves a list.

This is one of mine. There will be others. In fact, I have determined to offer my Top Ten Top Ten Lists.

Stay tuned…

For the next 14 seasons, his play on defense was so outstanding that he became popularly known as “Mr. Cowboy.” Bob starred as a defensive end in 1961 but then moved to a defensive tackle spot in his third season with even more sensational results. As a tackle, Lilly was a first-team All-NFL choice every year from 1964 through 1969, then again in 1971, and 1972. The only years he missed first-team honors was his final two seasons in the league and in 1970 when he was a second-team choice.

Equally effective as both a pass rusher and a rushing defender, Lilly continually battled double-team and even triple-team opposition but he rarely was delayed in his pursuit of the ball carrier. Quick, agile and coordinated, he even scored four touchdowns in his career. One came on a 17-yard interception return in 1964 while the other three came on fumble recoveries. Altogether, he returned 18 fumbles for 109 yards.

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Jerry Jones, the NFL’s version of P.T. Barnum, may not be as articulate as the old ringmaster, but he has proven himself every bit the slick showman/businessman.

Until now.

In a bewildering move, Jones has eschewed any Ring of Honor inductions for the 2010 season. As previously noted, that just doesn’t make sense…especially when you consider how Jerry never misses an opportunity to promote his team and capitalize on a golden (or greenback) opportunity.

It isn’t enough for me to sit in the critic’s corner and tsk tsk the man. There must be logic behind the argument in order to validate it. My argument for a 2010 Ring of Honor celebration stands on two powerful legs:

1. The timing. The inaugural year of the billion-dollar playground for Jerry’s Boys is a once-in-a-team’s-lifetime opportunity. There may never be a more appropriate time to celebrate the team’s accomplishments and the men who have helped to make the Dallas Cowboys America’s Team. Any new additions to the RoH is a wonderful excuse to parade all of the still-among-us, hallowed members before their adoring fans.
2. The candidates. Timing alone isn’t enough. There must be men worthy of the honor; men whose careers were not only fraught with accomplishment, but whose names were synonymous with the team.

If these two conditions exist, then we can conclude that Jerry has dropped the shiny, silver ball on this one. The first condition hardly requires argument. Just look at it and nod your head, because you know I am right. That leaves only the matter of the candidates. Can we find men worthy of induction to such a hallowed place in such a momentous season?

My answer is, Yes! Yes, we can. As I stated in the first part of this two-part diatribe,  I believe it would be the better part of wisdom for Jerry to select one man from the old regime and one from his own glory days.

And now, the candidates:

The Old School Boys

Drew Pearson, Wide Receiver, 1973 – 1983

Hall of Fame 'Fro

If you were watching the Cowboys on December 28, 1975, unless you suffer from amnesia or have recently undergone a lobotomy, you remember the play forever dubbed as the Hail Mary. It was a last-second, desperation bomb from Roger Staubach to Drew Pearson…and it remains the single most miraculous, memorable play in franchise history.

That play alone would be reason enough for Cowboys fans to forever revere Drew Pearson. But that kind of prime-time heroism was a regular part of this players repertoire. He was, for a decade, Captain America’s go-to guy. He was elected to three Pro Bowls and named three times to the All-Pro team. Drew caught 489 regular season passes for 7822 yards and scored 48 touchdowns. He participated in 22 post-season games, catching 67 passes for 1105 yards and scoring eight touchdowns.

Pearson’s numbers are not extravagant by today’s standards, but he was a notable player of his era and a singular presence in the 70’s Cowboys’ receiving corps. Lynn Swann, the 70’s Steelers’ standout receiver and NFL Hall of Fame member played fewer years and caught fewer passes than Pearson. In fact, if history could erase one Jackie Smith end zone bobble, the Cowboys and Steelers would have won the exact same number of Super Bowls that decade, with the Cowboys having made one more appearance than their nemesis…and any so-called big-game separation between Swann and Pearson would be nil.

Drew Pearson is the original number 88. He was a great player with soft hands, big-play ability, and remains the finest sideline-catch, tip-toeing receiver I have ever seen. It is a shame that he isn’t enshrined in Canton, and an absolute travesty that he is not already a member of the Ring of Honor.

Charlie Waters, Strong Safety, 1970 – 1981

Charlie Waters is often mentioned in the same breath with Cliff Harris, primarily because the two were the NFL defensive backfield equivalent of Butch and Sundance. They patrolled the field with precision and ferocity, striking fear in the hearts of rival receivers. Harris is in the Ring of Honor; Waters is not…yet.

Charlie Waters was named to the Pro Bowl three times, from 1976-1978. In both ‘77 and ‘78. the Pro Football Writers named him first-team all-NFL. Waters appeared in 160 games, recorded 41 interceptions, and scored two defensive touchdowns. He had an NFL record nine interceptions in the playoffs, including three in one game. In Waters’ twelve year career, the Cowboys never suffered a losing season and appeared in five Super Bowls, winning two of them.

A beloved Cowboy and lucid communicator, Waters found himself in the booth as a radio analyst for the team for a few seasons. He also served on Dan Reeves coaching staff in Denver, proving himself both a student and teacher of the game.

His wait to be honored by the team that would not be the same without him has been utterly too long.

Billy Joe DuPree, Tight End, 1973 – 1983

Besides having one of the all-time cool names, DuPree was the first great Cowboys Tight End. (He wasn’t of course, the last. There will someday be three Tight Ends whose resumes will be too impressive to dismiss without serious consideration, but that is another discussion.)

Billy Joe played in 159 regular season games for the Cowboys, 102 as a starter. he caught 267 balls for 3565 yards and 41 touchdowns. He appeared in 19 playoff games, scoring four touchdowns. He had four receptions for 66 yards in Super Bowl XII versus Denver, and caught two passes for seventeen yards and a touchdown against the Steelers in Super Boxl XIII.

As to awards, DuPree was named to three consecutive Pro Bowls from 1976-78. The Associated Press named him first-team all-Conference in 1976 and ‘78. The UPI bestowed that same honor for all three years from 76 to 78. He was also named the NFL’s Man of the Year once.

Names from the Nineties

Larry Allen, Guard/Tackle, 1994-2005 with Cowboys

Eleven-time Pro Bowler. Six-time first team All-Pro. Stands alongside Rayfield Wright as the greatest offensive lineman to ever wear the star on his helmet. No argument. No debate. No decision. No-brainer.

Enough said.

Darren Woodson, Strong Safety, 1992 – 2003

Arguments could be made concerning who was the greatest offensive player of the 1990s Cowboys. Was it Aikman? Smith? Irvin? Allen? But on the defensive side, no man was as good, as consistant, and as consistantly good as Darren Woodson. He was the Qb of the Dallas D. He was great from start to finish. He was leadership personified. He was a quick thinker and a hard hitter. He was everything the Cowboys could have hoped for when they made him the 37th pick overall in the ‘92 draft…everything and more.

Woodson was a 5-time Pro Bowler (in consecutive years, ‘94-’98) and was named first-team all-Pro three times, in ‘94, ‘95, and ‘96. He started 162 regular season games for the Cowboys, recording 803 tackles and 138 assists. He also recorded 23 interceptions and scored two defensive touchdowns, one of them a 94-yarder.

If there is any justice in the world, Woodson will find himself enshrined in Canton soon. If Jerry has any sense at all, he will beat the NFL to it and place him in the Ring of Honor.

Jay Novacek, Tight End, 1985 – 1995

Aikman had Irvin to outfight defenders for tight passes and outmaneuver them for underthrows. He had Smith to keep eight men in the box much of the time. He also had a raw-boned, bow-legged, tough-as-nails security blanket named Novacek.

Novacek is the only candidate in this list who was not drafted by the Cowboys. He was drafted by the Rams, where he played his first three years. Only a sixth round pick, Novacek exceeded all expectations. As a Cowboy, he was elected to five consecutive Pro Bowls from 1991 – 95. He was named first-team all-Pro in ‘92.

For his career, Novacek caught 422 passes for 4630 yards and 30 touchdowns. He contributed to all three of the Cowboys’ Super Bowl wins in the Nineties. In thirteen playoff games, he caught 62 passes for 645 yards. He scored six post-season touchdowns, including one each in Super Bowls XXVII and XXX.

Conclusion

This is not a suggestion that Jerry Jones sweep all of these men into the RoH this year. Not at all. It is hard evidence that an induction ceremony in 2010 is more than just a good idea: it is a great idea. Any of these men would be worthy of induction in this year of years for the franchise.

If only the Ringmaster could see that.

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Jerry Jones recently announced that there would be no new additions to the Ring of Honor in the 2010-11 football season. For a man with such business acumen, that seems like a horribly short-sighted decision. Of all the years to forgo such a celebration! The debut season in the new stadium is tailor-made for the revelings and ritual associated with a Ring of Honor induction ceremony.

If there were no worthy candidates, then I would support Jones on this front. He certainly should not force the issue by shoehorning in some marginal talent. No thoughtful Cowboys fan wants to see the NFL’s most glorious franchise water down what is tantamount to the team’s hall of fame. Only the best of the best should find their names among the Landrys, Staubachs, and Aikmans of the world.

The arguments for and against inclusion in the RoH have been many and varied. Some would have it limited to those Cowboys whose busts reside in Canton. Others want every Cowboy who was slightly above average elevated to those lofty heights.

The first extreme is too reactive. The Ring of Honor may indeed be a sort of precursor to NFL Hall of Fame induction, but membership in the RoH ought not be contingent on membership in the HoF. The RoH is the horse and the HoF the cart. Let’s not get the cart ahead of the horse. Besides, Cowboys fans who remember the glory of the Seventies understand that the HoF has some glaring omissions when it come to the men who wore the silver star to five Super Bowls in that decade. (They rectified one of those when they honored the great Rayfield Wright a couple years ago.)

One can be too restrictive with Ring of Honor honors. But one could also be too liberal. To date, the liberal thing has never been a problem. We don’t want it to become one. That said, there are right now enough legitimate, bona fide Cowboy greats standing in the line of left-outs to insure that a RoH celebration this year would not need feature a “how-in-the-heck-did-they-let-that-guy-in-there” dud.

It says here that Jerry should choose two men to induct – one from the old regime and one from the Jones era. In doing so, he could both right an old wrong and celebrate his own success as owner and General Manager. In one fell swoop, he could bridge the ever-widening generation gap and open the new state-of-the-art stadium with a grand celebration of glories past and yet to come.

It makes perfect sense. Maybe it makes too much sense for Jerry “The Ringmaster” Jones.

In our next offering, I will submit the names of the men I think should top the list of candidates. I will do so with the solemn vow that there won’t be a dud in the whole she-bang.

Stay tuned…

Popularity: 13% [?]

Him sure do talk

OK, all of you red-faced Cowboys’ fans: you can come out from under the bed and take the bag off your head. Emmitt Smith’s tenure at ESPN has mercifully come to an end.

While employed by ESPN, Emmitt was a cliche-spitting, infinity-splitting, stupidity-emitting, bumbling buffoon. To highlight and contrast his ineptitude as a broadcaster, the geniuses  at the worldwide leader of sports paired him with the incredibly bright, thoughtful, well-spoken, strongly-opinionated Steve Young. Another win for the 49ers (groan).

Any Cowboys’ fan could have told the ESPN brass that Emmitt wasn’t exactly a prime candidate to hire as a talking head. How many times did we suffer through a brutal interview featuring the all-time leading rusher? “Let myself tell you myself think…”

One blogger has made sport of Emmitt’s work at ESPN. Here are a few samples for your enjoyment:

1. “Wade [Phillips] inherit this success.” (Commentary: That may be true, but it also looks like someone will be inheriting Emmitt’s seat on Sunday NFL Countdown sometime soon.)
2. “My game-breaker go to Brett Favre.” (Commentary: And my dictionary go to Emmitt. Please, Emmitt, start reading.)
3. “And when defense felt my will, it was a total different game then.” (Commentary: Scoring touchdowns? Easy. Using adverbs? Impossible.)
4. “The Packers don’t has a running game.” (Commentary: And if this keeps up, ESPN will not has good ratings.)
5. “This team have not played confident football in three weeks.” (Commentary: I love it how Emmitt refuses to use contractions. Emmitt doesn’t cut corners!)
6. “He gets the ball over to their third read than most quarterback can.” (Commentary: I think Emmitt forgot a word here, but at least he didn’t say “He get the ball over…”)
7. “Mike Martz have this offense rollin’” (Commentary: And Emmitt have this grammar thing rollin’… NOT.)
8. “The Pittsburgh Steelers are not as good as everyone think they are.” (Commentary: What is Emmitt talking about? I thinks the Steelers is good!”)
9. “He deserve to be coach of the year.” (Commentary: I wasn’t sure who should be coach of the year, but Emmitt really swayed me with that argument.”)
10. “He’s gonna be the guy Tom Brady look for on third downs.” (Commentary: And I don’t think Emmitt’s gonna be the guy Webster look for when he updates his dictionary.)

Read the rest here, if you must. (Warning: Your brain may turn to mush.)

As a devoted fan of America’s Team, I would like to thank Emmitt for the memories and implore him to find a less loquacious means of keeping himself in the spotlight. (Shudders to think how that Hall of Fame acceptance speech is going to sound.)

Popularity: 3% [?]

They (whoever “they” are) say that nice guys finish last. If that is a rule, then Darren Woodson is the exception. The Arizona Republic announced today that Woodson, one of the very best to ever play in the defensive backfield for your Dallas Cowboys, is set to be inducted into the Arizona Sports Hall of Fame.

The Enforcer

An Arizona native, Woodson was a standout player for the Arizona State University Sun Devils from 1989 – 1991. The Cowboys drafted him with the 5th pick in the 2nd round (37th overall) of the 1992 draft. Woodson would reward the Cowboys with a stellar 12-year career that included 5 Pro Bowl appearances. He was named first-team All-Pro three times.

While Aikman guided the star-studded Cowboys offense of the early to mid-nineties, Woodson quarterbacked the often-underrated defense. He was as steady a hand at the helm as ever Aikman was.

Hopefully, Jerry Jones will follow the Arizona Hall of Fame lead and give Woodson is due by inducting him into the Cowboys’ Ring of Honor. It can scarcely be debated that he has earned it. And that might just be the first step towards getting him where all Cowboys fans would love to him – in Canton!

Congratulations, Darren…and thanks for proving that nice guys can be tough guys, too. No Glocks. No AK-47s. No dopin’. No bringing the rain. Just hard-nosed football at the highest possible level.

You were a throwback, my man, and we loved watching you do what you do.

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