Silver and BlueBlood

A Father-Son Moment

Raise your hand if you have ever dog-cussed Jason Garrett or said Wade Phillips should be fired (or worse).

God bless you. I see that hand. Yes, and yours too. Oh, and yours, way back in the corner. And yes…my hand is raised, as well. Guilty. All over the vast expanse of Jerry’s magnificent, shiny football Mecca, hands are raised.

Four weeks ago, when the Cowboys were fresh off stumbling into December with back-to-back losses to the San Diego Chargers and the New York Giants, most who bleed silver and blue were sighing, cussing, cramping, complaining, puking, bleeding out the ears…and convinced this team was going nowhere as long as Jerry Jones was the General Manager, Wade Phillips was the head coach, and Jason Garrett was the offensive coordinator.

My, how our tune has changed. Now, we have this 11-5 team that has, for the first time in the illustrious history of the franchise, shut out opponents in back-to-back games. Division opponents, no less. We have this team that is roaring into the playoffs by winning the final three games of the season, clinching a division title, and serving notice to the rest of the NFC that the Dallas Cowboys are a team you just don’t want any part of, thank you very much.

We know the what. But do we know why? Why did this team do what last year’s team could not? Why is the feeling around this team even better than in 2007, when they were 13-3? We always know who to blame for the failures around here. But whom do we credit for the success?

Glad you asked. I have some candidates. In fact, I have the top twelve people most responsible for this team’s turn-around. We could call them the Twelve Apostles of the About Face, or the Not-So-Dirty Dozen.

Here they are…

Number Twelve: Jason Witten

It isn’t that Witten wasn’t great last year. He was. He always is. But never has he been more clutch than this year. Whenever you absolutely, positively must have a first down, throw it to Witten. It usually works out. Just ask Tony Romo. When has a receiver only scored two touchdowns in a season and had a more positive impact on his team?

Number Eleven: Mike Jenkins

By the first week in the regular season, Wade Phillips had not been able to decide between Jenkins and Orlando Scandrick as to which one would start opposite Terrence Newman. Newman, it was assumed, was the best corner on the team, and one of these young guys would have to step up and claim that second spot. By season’s end, Jenkins had asserted himself as a Pro Bowl-caliber corner, the best on the team, and one of the better corners in the league.

Number Ten: DeMarcus Ware

Sure, Ware was phenomenal a year ago and probably should have been named the NFL Defensive Player of the Year. But what about this year? What about being carted off the field one week on a stretcher and coming back the next to get two sacks, force two turnovers, and seal the victory over the previously undefeated Saints? DeMarcus on the field makes every other Cowboys defender’s job easier.

Number Nine: Jay Ratliff

He is too small to be a nose tackle. He is also too quick, too tenacious, and too talented to be handled by most centers or guards or centers plus guards. The Ratliff motor is always humming. He creates havoc and helps set a tone for Phillips’ aggressive 3-4 defense.

Number Eight: The Offensive Line

They play so well as a unit, may as well treat them as one. From tackle to tackle, the Cowboys’ line has done a superb job of protecting the quarterback and gashing defenses for one of the league’s most potent ground attacks. Even when Marc Colombo, who was playing lights out, went down, the line never missed a beat. They plugged in Doug Free, and he has been more than serviceable as a replacement. (Witness the block Free threw forty yards downfield on Felix Jones’ 49-yard scamper last Sunday.)

Number Seven: Anthony Spencer

Did anyone else notice that Peter King selected both Spencer and DeMarcus Ware for his All-Pro team? And why not? Spencer has been a force, a monster, a whirling dervish, disrupting plays, harassing passers, corralling runners, and complementing Ware so well that no one misses Greg Ellis for a minute. Spencer had 50 tackles, 17 assists, six sacks, two forced fumbles, and an interception during the 2009 regular season.

But numbers only tell part of the story. Anyone watching the Cowboys this year saw how Spencer influenced plays on almost every series.

Number Six: Keith Brooking

Brooking did not crack the Pro Bowl lineup in 2009, but he became the heart and soul of the Dallas Cowboys defense. He was the spiritual leader. His on-field play was as effective and impressive as the leadership he provided. Without Brooking, the Cowboys defense is a very different unit altogether.

Number Five: Miles Austin

Roy Williams was supposed to be the guy here. He got the fat contract. He cost the team all those draft picks. He was going to pick up the slack for the departed Terrell Owens. Right?

Wrong.

Miles Austin began the season as the number three receiver. But in Kansas City, with Williams hurt, he asserted himself, had one of the best days ever for a Cowboys receiver and began his dash to the Pro Bowl. He has been the big-time receiver, making the big plays at crunch time, torching defenses, snatching balls from the grasp of defensive backs, shaking off would-be tacklers, running past people, running over people.

Austin has done everything Owens did and managed to remain a team player. Imagine that.

Number Four: Jason Garrett

Granted, third down or fourth down and a yard to go has been a bit of a sticky wicket. Sure, the point production (ranked 14th in the league)  isn’t on par with the yardage this team racks up (second most in the NFL). But have you not seen steady—and marked—improvement in this offense over the course of the year?

No longer saddled with the burden of getting the ball to T.O., whether it makes sense to do so or not, Garrett has devised a sophisticated offense that features a dynamite running game and a lethal passing attack. If he could just make those catches for Roy Williams and Martellus Bennett, he would be the genius he was touted to be a couple years ago.

Number Three: Wade Phillips

Yes. You read that right. I said Wade Phillips. I know I have been a rather vocal critic of the man. I dislike plenty of things about his leadership style. But you cannot argue with the results. The man has won 68% of the games he has coached in Dallas (record: 33-15). He has now won two division titles in three years. He has put together a defense that is on the best roll of any team going into the postseason.

And his players believe in him. They genuinely like him. They want to win for him. (Of course, if they really like him and want to keep him around, they might try winning at least one more game, just to be safe.)

Number Two: Tony Romo

From the first time he stepped on the field as the team’s starter, Romo has shown flashes of utter brilliance. He has made plays few others could have made. Unfortunately, he was also prone to making the worst possible mistakes at the worst possible times, costing his team scoring chances, giving up points to opposing defenses, and contributing to the team’s failure to achieve postseason success.

But Tony has turned a corner. He has gotten his gun-slinger propensity under control, and he has done so without diminishing his play-making prowess. Consider that in 2009, he threw for more yards—4,483—than ever before. He threw just nine interceptions, after having thrown 13, 19, and 14 the previous three seasons.  He threw 26 touchdown passes this year and finished with a quarterback rating of 97.6, his highest ever.

More importantly, he has asserted himself as the undisputed leader of the offense.

Number one: Jerry and Stephen Jones

I picked Jerry Jones number one because this season’s success was predicated on his off-season moves. It was, far and away, Jerry’s best off-season for signing the right players and cutting the right ones loose.

I include Stephen because word has it that it was Stephen Jones who convinced daddy to cut ties with T.O. It was not an easy decision for Jerry Jones to make, not an easy thing to do. Not just because of his own ego, but because, I believe, he genuinely had a warm feeling for the receiver.

Jones did it. he pulled the trigger and Terrell Owens, PacMan Jones, and Tank Johnson were— *poof* —gone. Equally important, he let Greg  Ellis, the so-called team leader who had become a broken record for whining about his contract and generally sowing discord on the team, go.

Then, Jones set about signing key people. He got Igor Olshansky to replace Christ Canty, the departed defensive end overpaid by the Giants. He signed Gerald Sensabaugh to shore up the defensive backfield, which had long been vulnerable due to the diminishing skills of safety Roy Williams. Best of all, he signed Keith Brooking, the five-time Pro Bowler who still had plenty in his tank…and the kind of salt and savvy this team so desperately needed in a locker room leader.

Sure, there is the whole Roy Williams (the receiver) debacle. But wasn’t it Jones who first told us that Miles Austin would be the deep threat the team needed in Terrell Owens’ absence? Didn’t we giggle…or snicker…or roll our collective eyes?

Wasn’t he right?

He’s been right about a good many things lately. And that is a good thing for a team that has been all wrong for way too long.

Popularity: 6% [?]

The face of the future?

Who will be The Team of the Teens? By that, I do not mean the team of kids between 12 and 19. I mean the team that will outshine all others in the 2010—2019 decade. The team that will record multiple Super Bowl victories. The team everyone else will hate and emulate at the same time. The team that will define the decade.

In every decade, the NFL has unofficially declared one team the  premier team. In the 1960s, it was the Green Bay Packers, with their hard-charging, single-minded head coach Vince Lombardi. The ’70s belonged to the Pittsburgh Steelers and Terry Bradshaw, as they claimed four Super Bowl trophies to outshine the Dallas Cowboys, who made a remarkable five trips to the Super Bowl in that ten year span, winning two.

The 1980s were all about The San Francisco 49ers; the emergence of the West Coast offense, the brainchild of their genius head coach Bill Walsh; and that skinny quarterback with the steely nerves and the indomitable will, Joe Montana.

The ’90s belonged to the lip-smacking, never-a-hair-out-of-place Jimmy Johnson; the brash new face of the NFL, Jerry Jones; the fair-haired, golden-armed Oklahoma kid from California, Troy Aikman; and the Dallas Cowboys in general. They won three Super Bowls in four years, the first time that had ever been done.

The first decade in the new century brought us Bill Belichick with his cut up sweatshirts and his unbelievable sixth round find, Tom Brady. The Brady Bunch won three consecutive Super Bowls. They then posted the frst-ever perfect 16-0 regular season mark (the Dolphins’ perfect season was in the 14-game era), blew through the AFC playoffs, and then lost a heart-breaker to the upstart New York Giants.

So, who is next? Which team is poised to claim its very own decade and become part of that “greatest team ever” argument? To ascertain the likeliest candidates, it is first necessary to contemplate the formula. History suggests there is a predictor—a formula that seems too consistent to ignore.

Every team of the decade had a couple things in common: A relatively young coach coming into his own and establishing himself as a great leader/technician/motivator; a young superstar quarterback; a dominating (or at least very difficult to deal with) defense.

Consider…

• The 1960s Packers had Vince Lombardi, whose influence on the game was so significant they named the Super Bowl trophy after him, and Bart Starr. Now, Starr was not a sensational quarterback, but he was a great field general who understood and executed his coach’s offense to perfection.
• The 1970s Steelers had Chuck Knoll, who began a coaching tradition like no other there in the Steel City. They also had Terry Bradshaw and the Steel Curtain. The honorable mention Dallas Cowboys had a fellow named Tom Landry and a quarterback named Roger Staubach, not to mention DoomsDay I & II.
• The 1980s 49ers had Bill Walsh forever changing the game with his X’s and O’s and Joe Montana making his case for best quarterback ever. They had a salty defense led by the likes or Ronnie Lott, too.
• The 1990s Cowboys were lead by Jimmy Johnson, the first coach ever to win both a NCAA championship and a Super Bowl. They were led on the field by the unflappable Troy Aikman. And, they had a defense that was quick, nasty, and sometimes downright dominating.
• The 2000s Patriots. Belichick. Brady. Bruschi. What more need we say?

So, if we assume this formula works and is a pretty good indicator of things to come, which team currently stands poised to climb Mount Domination in the 2010s? Here are my top six candidates, beginning with number six:

Number Six: Cincinnati Bengals

I know. Carson Palmer is already a six year veteran. The Bengals are good defensively, but not dominating. Marvin Lewis is not on many people’s “next coaching genius” list. Let’s not forget, however, that Lewis did help construct that Baltimore Ravens’ defense. He did spend valuable time on that Pittsburgh Steelers’ coaching staff. Carson Palmer is a strong-armed quarterback with more than sufficient skills to get the job done. Chad Ochocinco is no slouch. The running game has found its legs.

Most importantly, this beleaguered franchise has the taste of victory fresh in its mouth.

Number Five: Arizona Cardinals

The biggest missing piece here is the young quarterback. What they have at QB right now is pure greatness. Kurt Warner is also nearing Methuselah’s age. The other pieces are in place, though. Coach Whisenhunt has already made his mark on the team, getting them into last year’s Super Bowl, and coming within a Roethlissberger drive of winning it. The defense can be stingy and opportunistic. The receiving corps is as good as any in football.

And…the team finally believes it can.

Number Four: Baltimore Ravens

Joe Flacco is the X-factor here. Will he become more than a game manager? Will he be a play-maker? John Harbaugh, like his brother, appears to be the real deal. He could be the kind of young coach that makes his mark on the league. The defensive tradition in Baltimore is already well established and must simply be replenished.

Number Three: Green Bay Packers

The long shadow of Brett Favre is withering as the traitorous legend leads the Packers’ arch enemy into the playoffs. It is withering because of the play of  their Pro Bowl quarterback Aaron Rodgers. It is withering because the Packers’ defense ranks ninth in points allowed and second in yardage yielded. It is withering because Head Coach Mike McCarthy has his team poised and focused on the future, rather than dwelling on the past.

Could that future include another “team of the decade” for the citizens of the diminutive city of champions to cherish? It could.

Number Two: Dallas Cowboys

OK. Call me a homer, but I like where this team sits right now. The unknown quotient is a biggie: namely, who will be the coach going forward? The quarterback Tony Romo, however, I believe, is poised to become one of the league’s best. He has already set a number of team records in just his third full year as a starter. This is no small thing when you consider he holds the position held by guys named Meredith, Staubach, White, and Aikman.

The defense, under the guidance of current coach Wade Phillips has begun to assert itself, keeping some of the league’s most potent offensive attacks in check. Most of the defense is young. In fact, apart from the aging offensive line, most of the team is fairly young.

The Cowboys could be set to do that every-other-decade thing they do. It all depends on Jerry and the choice he makes at head coach.

Number One: New Orleans Saints

Drew Brees and Sean Payton have proven a lethal duo. This team hangs basketball-like numbers on opponents with a good deal of regularity. And now, they have Gregg Williams running the defense.

The Saints have already come within a game of the Super Bowl a couple seasons ago. They have gotten the homefield advantage for themselves in the current playoffs. They are young, hungry, and poised to become a force for the next eight to ten years.

Of course, plenty of other teams could have something to say about this. The Redskins may finally be headed in the right direction with the changes in front office leadership. The Colts and Patriots are still quality, well-oiled machines with quarterbacks whose names are already legendary and will be forever in any argument about the best to ever play the game. I like where the Texans are. The 49ers have the right coach in place, I believe.

My honorable mention team, however, is Norv Turner’s San Diego Chargers. Phillip Rivers and Company are—and should continue to be—a force with which to be reckoned.

It is conceivable that this will be the decade dominated by parity, that no team will assert itself. The magic wand may pass from hand to hand, team to team, city to city. History, however, suggests some team somewhere will emerge as the team to beat.

It could be yours.

Popularity: 6% [?]

Not quite there yet, Red

Many have clamored for Jason Garrett’s termination; I have not.

Some have noted a dearth of Jason Garrett criticism in my writing. While I have called Wade Phillips everything, but something good to eat and have been vocal on the notion that he is not the type of head coach this team (or any team with an eye toward the ultimate prize) needs, I have been less inclined to cram an editorial boot up the proverbial arse of the Cowboys’ offensive coordinator.

The reason for this apparent discrepancy is simple: I believe that Wade Phillips’ body of work as a head coach is sufficient to deem him unsuitable to take a team to an elite status and keep it there for any length of time. He has shown that his leadership skills are as wanting as his defensive schemes skills are effective.

He has managed to post a better-than-average regular season record (79-54), but has never won a single playoff game as a head coach.

Jason Garrett, on the other hand, is still young and relatively new to the position of offensive coordinator. Phillips is past 60 and set in his ways. He is what he is and that is what he is going to be. Garrett is 43 and still growing and developing as a coordinator.

Sure, there have been misfires. At times, it has appeared that Garrett lacked the ability to adjust on the fly. Sometimes, he has appeared to get stuck in one mode or another or he has worked too hard to shoehorn one player or another into the game plan.

Of course, the position of armchair offensive coordinator is quite easy. Any informed football fan can fill it. When you have the benefit of hindsight and the knowledge of how a play,a drive, or a game plan actually worked or failed to work, it is not difficult to draw up a better scheme in your mind.

But let’s not overlook the positive impact he has had on Tony Romo and the Cowboys’ offense.

Remember, it was just a season ago that Garrett was the hottest head coach prospect in the NFL. He was courted by the Baltimore Ravens and the Atlanta Falcons and it was reported he could have taken either of those jobs. The prospects of losing Garrett prompted Jones to make him the highest paid assistant coach in the NFL (and in the history of the league, for that matter). Phillips promoted Garrett, naming him assistant head coach.

Though it was denied, many assumed at the time that Jones and Garrett had some sort of gentleman’s agreement that made the highly-regarded coordinator the de facto head coach-in-waiting for the Dallas Cowboys.

Unfortunately Garrett’s freshman season, which saw him mold, guide, and direct one of the NFL’s most prolific offenses and help the Cowboys to a 13-3 regular season record, was followed by a sophomore flop. The 2008 edition of the Cowboys collapsed and crumbled at season’s end, closing out the season with humiliating losses to the Ravens and the Eagles.

They finished the season 9-7 and missed the playoffs entirely. Furthermore, after being ranked second in the NFL in points per game and third in yardage in 2007, the Cowboys fell to 18th and 13th respectively in ’08.

Suddenly, Jason Garrett’s rising star was seen more as a plummeting, gaseous meteorite, crashing into the Cowboys’ shiny new home. Crash and burn; yesterday’s hero became today’s goat.

”Get rid of the bum,” has been the cry of many.

Never mind that Tony Romo’s play has continued to improve and impress. The oft-maligned quarterback has now gone four consecutive games without throwing a pick for the first time in his career.

Never mind that an undrafted free agent wide receiver,Miles Austin,has begun to establish himself as one of the league’s best. Never mind that the running game has appeared formidable at times and unstoppable at others.

Never mind that the offense is currently ranked third in the NFL in yards gained. Never mind that we have never seen a team run a better draw play.

Never mind that every week Garrett shows a new wrinkle. Remember that play on the goal line against the Chargers, where they faked a screen pass on each side and then hit a wide open Patrick Crayton in the end zone?

It is true that the offense has stalled in the red zone more than a time or two. It is true that more than a few drives have ended with a deflating missed field goal by former kicker Nick Folk. It is true that the team’s point production does not jibe with the massive amounts of yardage they have racked up.

It is also true that patience is a virtue. It was not that many years ago that Sean Payton, the current offensive genius in the league, was being stripped of his play-calling duties in New York. Think anyone thought then that he would be what is he now?

Like Payton, Garrett has shown himself to possess an innovative offensive mind. Like Payton, Garrett appears to be a steadying influence on the sideline. Like Payton, Garrett has had to fight his way through the on the job learning curve.

I believe that, like Payton, Garrett will soon prove himself to be the winner we all believed he was in 2007. In fact, I am not entirely convinced that he is not the right man to take the helm in Dallas when Jerry finally says goodbye to Phillips. How is that for a minority opinion? The Republicans will get more say on health care than I will get supporters on that one, I am sure.

I know that after 13 years of frustration, Cowboys fans are not inclined to patience. That particular virtue is wearing thin. But, where Jason Garrett is concerned, it will pay off.

Believe that.

Popularity: 23% [?]

It was supposed to be the perfect night. It was to be the perfect cherry atop the perfect season in the perfect place. New

Perfect!

Orleans, the city hammered by Katrina and then pummeled by FEMA, would show the world their indomitable spirit and their unique ability to party their way through any sort of disaster and come out the other end, drink in hand, shouting “I dare ya” in the Devil’s face.

It was the perfect stage: They had the national spotlight all to themselves. It was the perfect opponent: that hated team with the silver pants, the shiny new silver – and – glass stadium, all those silver Lombardi trophies…and that infuriating silver spoon stuck in their smug gobs.

The have-nots would finally deal the haves their come-uppance. It would be glorious. It would be…perfect!

The crowd was sauced. The signs were all made and ready to wave in America’s face. The pundits—to a man (this one included)—were all certain this contest would belong to “dem Saints.” The “Who Dats” were finally set to become the “We Dats.” This would be the last major challenge, the last big hurdle to get over. Then, the boys in the Gold and Black would sprint down the homestretch and into the playoffs, sporting a perfect 16 – 0 record, and ready to zip past all NFC comers to the Super Bowl, where the other perfect team—the 16 – 0 Colts—would be waiting to play them in the perfect ending to the perfect season.

Perfection would show his elusive face in the Cowboys—Saints contest Saturday night, December 19, 2009. Only he would have a mind of his own. He would choose the wrong team. He would shun the Fleur de Lis and, instead, don the Star.

Perfection would be the Redheaded Boy Genius calling all the right plays, pushing all the right buttons. Here a run; there a run. Now a deep pass. Cowboys 7, Saints 0. Perfection would return a punt, pound the rock, dash up the sideline, blast defenders off the line, and finally, dive, braided locks flying, into the end zone. Cowboys 14, Saints 0.

Perfection would be bookend linebackers named DeMarcus Ware and Anthony Spencer harassing the league’s newest darling, Drew Brees. They would hurry his throws, hit him in the chops, flush him from the pocket, sling him to the ground…and then do it some more. Perfection would be Ware, a wounded linebacker who wasn’t expected to play in the contest, making two key sacks, forcing two key turnovers, and sealing victory for the underdogs.

Perfection would be the other quarterback: The one who couldn’t win the big games. The one who folds like a K-Mart umbrella when the calendar reads December. While Drew Brees turned the ball over three times, Tony Romo—for the fourth consecutive week—avoided throwing an interception. What he did throw was a perfect deep ball to Miles Austin to put his team up 7 – 0.

Romo protected the ball. He managed the game. He rallied the troops. And when he needed to, he threaded the needle.

Perfection was a team motivated by necessity. Perfection wore the grim look of determination on its face and played with a distinct sense of desperation. He didn’t need a field goal from Nick Folk to seal the game, nor did he require a key third down catch from the still way – too – erratic receiver Roy Williams. Who needs those guys when even Bobby Carpenter is making plays?

As it turns out, the underachieving Cowboys were the perfect spoiler for the horseshoe-carrying Saints. New Orleans should have lost to Washington. They could have lost to Carolina. They didn’t. Luck was partnering with Perfection, conspiring to keep their perfect season intact. The Saints just kept winning and winning and winning…until most everyone was convinced they would never do anything but win.

Meanwhile, the Cowboys had held the high-scoring Chargers to their lowest season scoring output. They had strung together five straight weeks of stellar defensive performances. On offense, they had moved the ball at times with precision, only to break down in the red zone. They just had not put it all together for an entire game since their big win in Philadephia.

The Cowboys were better than they appeared. The Saints were not quite as good as they seemed. So, the Cowboys did what no one gave them a chance to do: They won the game, 24 – 17.

The Saints still control their own destiny. They still have the conference lead in wins. Now, the Cowboys control theirs, as well. If they can post wins in their last two games—against the 4 – 9 Redskins and the 9 – 4 Eagles, they will win their division.

Who knows? These same two teams may meet in the same place in a few weeks with much more on the line.

Wouldn’t that be…perfect?

Popularity: 6% [?]

How do you heal a broken heart?

It was the best of times (for some). It was the worst of times (for us).

And so it ends. In a few days hence, just like that, the clock strikes midnight, Dec. 31, 2009, and the first decade of the 21st Century draws to an end.

It came in like a lion, with the threat of worldwide computer failure—the presumed result of the Y2K bug that so many experts feared would cripple the computers of the world, impacting everything from drinking water to banking systems. (Of course, the whole thing was much ado about nothing.)

It came in like a lion, as just one year into the decade, on the 11th day of the ninth month, terror struck at the heart of America. No one would ever utter the phrase 9/11 the same way again.

And now, with Congress locked in what seems an interminable debate over health care reform, with the economy stuck in the deep freeze of recession, with the election of the first black president and the declaration of Camelot II already losing its luster…this decade goes out like a lamb, slipping into the vault of human history, waiting its turn to be prodded, analyzed, labeled, and forever put on the shelf—another volume in the ever-expanding library of Father Time.

But what, you ask, of the NFL?

For the National Football League, the 2000s (old timers would call this decade The Aughts) will be remembered as the decade of dominance. The league took center stage on the American sports scene, easily outdistancing Major League Baseball to become America’s new pastime.

Glorious new stadiums rose like mighty Sphinxes from the earth to be filled to the brim and boiling over with fans eager to spend their disposable income—and their children’s inheritance, if need be—to be entertained by the American Gladiators, otherwise known as NFL players.

The team of the decade? The New England Patriots, of course.

For the Patriots, it was the best of times. They became the second team to win three Super Bowls in four years. They became the first NFL team to finish the regular season 16–0. They came within a miraculous Eli Manning-led drive of becoming only the second team in history to log an undefeated season, capped with the Super Bowl championship. Under the guidance of the derelict-looking genius head coach—and known cheater—Bill Belichick, the Patriots put together as good a decade as any team ever did.

But what, you wonder, of the Dallas Cowboys?

Ah, now we get to the meat of this New Year’s Eve dinner. You waded through this lengthy introduction to get down to the nitty gritty: How about them Cowboys?

Unfortunately, my anxious friend with the quiver in your voice and the gleam of hope in your eye, for your Cowboys, the Aughts (OK, the 2000s) were the worst of times.

Any way you slice it, the fifth decade of the NFL’s flagship franchise was as forgettable as a Friday night at home. It was far and away the worst decade in team history, and it came right after the best. Not a single Lombardi Trophy was added to the collection at Valley Ranch. In fact, there was not so much as a playoff victory to add to team lore.

The decade began with a volatile little madman named Dave Campo ranting and raving on the sideline and will conclude with the docile, doughy, take-it-all-in-stride Wade Phillips wandering aimlessly through another so-so season, all while relishing moral victories and congratulating his team on “fighting hard.”

Sandwiched between them was the football genius—if you don’t believe me on the “genius” part, ask him or anyone from New Jersey—Bill Parcells, doing his dead-level best to maneuver around the interferences of Jerry Jones to return the franchise to its rightful place of football glory.

Parcells failed to manage glory, but he did at least restore a level of respectability and left in his wake a roster many describe as being “as talented as any team in football.” (Maybe they are. If so, what a sad indictment on the whole team, from management to coaching to the players on the field. Such underachievement.)

I see the doubt on your face. You just cannot believe that, as bad as it was, this was the worst decade in team history. Fine. I will break it down, decade by decade.

Are your sitting down? Here goes…

The 1960s

Coach: Tom Landry

Record: 67 – 65 – 6

Winning Percentage: 50.7%

Playoffs: Four times

Championships: None

Remember now, this decade includes the birth of the franchise—and that first 0-11-1 season of theirs. The Cowboys did not even have the benefit of a draft their first year but were forced to pick up the castoffs and leftovers from the established franchises in order to field a team.

Still, with the steady hand of the fedora-topped Tom Landry at the helm, the Cowboys would play in their first Conference championship game in 1966. They would make the Conference championship again in 1967 and would make the divisional round in ’68 and ’69.

The 1970s

Coach: Tom Landry

Record: 105 – 39 – 0

Winning Percentage: 75.9%

Playoffs: NINE times!

Championships: Two

The 1970s Dallas Cowboys were as much the team of the decade as the Steelers. Their ridiculous winning percentage, their nine trips to the playoffs in those 10 years, their five Super Bowl appearances and two championships all put them in the rarefied air of a true dynasty. The ’70s Cowboys were 13-7 in playoff games.

The 1980s

Coaches: Tom Landry, Jimmy Johnson

Record: 79 – 73 – 0

Winning Percentage: 51.9%

Playoffs: Five times

Championships: None

The 1980s saw the ascendancy of Danny White to starting quarterback, due to Roger Staubach’s retirement after the ’79 season. The decade also saw the greatest run of winning football in league history finally come to an end, as Landry’s team aged and poor drafts led to the dilution of talent near the end of the decade.

The decade ended with the brash Arkansas wildcatter named Jerry Jones storming into Dallas, buying the team, and summarily firing the greatest—and most revered—legend in the city’s history, Tom Landry. The decade that began with three trips to the NFC championship game would end with Jimmy Johnson cleaning house and going 1-15 in his initial season, featuring, essentially, a bunch of rag-tag vagabonds and a rookie quarterback named Troy Aikman.

The 1990s

Coaches: Jimmy Johnson, Barry Switzer, Chan Gailey

Record: 101 – 59 – 0

Winning Percentage: 63.1%

Playoffs: Eight times

Championships: Three

The ’70s Cowboys can be argued to be one of the teams of that decade, but you might not win the argument if it is conducted against a Steelers fan flashing four Super Bowl rings in your face.

The ’90s Cowboys, however, were without question the team of their decade. To that point, no team in modern NFL history had been so dominant. No team had ever won three Super Bowls in four years.

Led by Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and Michael Irvin—the Triplets—that team left an indelible mark on NFL history. They were so good that even a coaching change from Jimmy Johnson to Barry Switzer could not deter them from winning it all.

The 2000s

Coaches: Dave Campo, Bill Parcells, Wade Phillips

*Record: 79 – 74 – 0

*Winning Percentage: 51.6%

*Playoffs: Three times

*Championships: None

*These figures are through Week 13 of the 2009 season. The Cowboys’ final record and playoff fate is yet to be decided.

In every decade before the 2000s, the Dallas Cowboys contended for multiple championships. In two of those four decades, they won multiple championships. But from the years 2000 to 2009, unless the football gods are crazy or go on extended holiday at this, the end of the ’09 season, the Cowboys will finish having never contended for a single championship. In fact, they have not so much as posted a playoff victory in 13 years.

Before this decade began, Cowboys fans considered the 1980s to be the Dark Ages of team history, with the ultimate demise of the Schramm/Landry regime, and that dreadful 1–15 season at the end of that decade. Compared to the so-so product Jerry Jones and Company have put on the field over the past 10 years, however, the 1980s look like the halcyon days of team history.

Soon it will be New Year’s Eve, and around the world people will raise a glass of Champagne to toast the New Year. Some will drink to remember; others to forget. And then they will sing together that old Scottish refrain…

Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne?

And, if you are a Cowboys fan…and if the “old acquaintance” is The Aughts…the answer will be a resounding “Yes! Let’s forget all about it, the whole thing. Just…forget it.”

And then raise your glass and toast a new year, a new decade, a new head coach, a new direction…and new hope.

Maybe, just maybe, the best of times are yet to come.

Popularity: 13% [?]

Collision Course

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. – Robert Frost

The Dallas Cowboys  are 8 – 4, and as coach Wade Phillips reminded the media, that makes them winners. Unfortunately, their foe Sunday, the San Diego Chargers, are 9 – 3, riding a hot streak, and, well, they, too, are winners.

The two teams, though they seldom meet – this is only their ninth meeting – have plenty of history. Norv Turner, the Chargers’ coach, is a former offensive coordinator for the Cowboys. Wade Phillips is the former defensive coordinator for the Chargers. Both men were strongly considered for the coaching position in Dallas, after Bill Parcells left. Most thought Turner would be Jerry Jones’s choice.

He wasn’t. Phillips was. Jones figured he had the offense covered with Jason Garrett (who was a hot commodity at the time, you may recall). What he needed, in his mind, was someone to whip the defense into shape. Wade has done that.

Phillips has also posted a nice winning percentage with the Cowboys…especially if you do not count December or the playoffs. Dallas’s December woes are well chronicled and much debated. Meanwhile, Turner’s Chargers are 15 – 0 in December. Turner’s team made the conference championship in 2007, losing to the New England Patriots. They made the Divisional round last year and lost.

While the Chargers try to figure out how to take that next step and make the Super Bowl, The Cowboys are just trying to solve December and finally post a playoff win for the first time in thirteen years. The Chargers want to win this game; the Cowboys have to win it.

Phillip Rivers and company are as dangerous an offense as any this side of New Orleans. They create matchup problems all over the field, especially with Tight End Antonio Gates. The Dallas Defense is playing well, though, currently ranked fifth in points allowed and 14^th in yards allowed per game.

The Cowboys’ high-octane offense, however, has not played as well in recent weeks. They run well one week, pass well the next, but haven’t put the two together in awhile.

Sunday’s game will come down to quarterback play, defense, and coaching. One might give an ever-so-slight edge to Phillip Rivers over Tony Romo, but it is razor-thin. Romo has played well this year, while Rivers is playing out of his mind. Defensively, you have to like Dallas. Phillips knows how to prepare a defense and call a game on that side of the ball. And he knows the Chargers.  The Coaching edge, it says here, belongs to Norv Turner, simply because he has proven he can get his team ready to play the games that matter most and get into the post-season, where he has had good success with the Chargers.

The wildcard may be Jason Garrett. If he can mix his game plan up enough to keep the Chargers off-balance and resist the urge to be cute when he needs to just be right, his offense could have a nice day against the Chargers, which ranks 15^th in points allowed and 12^th in yards given up.

The outcome of the game may very well determine Wade Phillips’s future with the Cowboys…and he knows it. His margin for error is nonexistent after the loss last week to the Giants. Should his team lose its grip on the NFC East and fall into a wild card fight, or out of playoff contention entirely, he will need to dust off that resume.

The Chargers will come to play. Of that, there is little doubt. If the Cowboys do, as well, this could be the NFL game of the week. The series edge is decidedly in the Cowboys favor. They hold a 6 – 2 series edge over the Chargers. But this is not your daddy’s Chargers…or your momma’s Cowboys.

For Wade Phillips and his Dallas Cowboys, in light of recent late-season collapses, this is definitely the time for them to take that road less traveled.

Prediction: Cowboys win 27-24.

Popularity: 5% [?]

two wild and crazy guys

One is eighty and the other pushing seventy. One looks like the skeletal remains of an aged 1930s Chicago-land gangster and the other like a Michael Jackson starter kit with his recent face work and new teeth.

One built the Raiduhhhhs into one of the NFL’s elite franchises and then systematically shredded it, piece by piece. The other resurrected America’s Team from its late ’80s shallow grave, restored it to its glorious place among the champions, and then, for the sake of his own fragile ego, ran the architect of the Cowboys’ resurgence out of town and started looking for hand puppets so he could coach the team without anyone really knowing it (though most everyone suspects it).

Between them, Al Davis and Jerry Jones have the ownership of eight Lombardi trophies, though Jones only actually participated in winning three of his franchise’s five. The Raiders have been to five Super Bowls under Davis, winning three of them. When he was sane (or at least crazy like a fox rather than just plain mad), the Raiders general managing partner built the team into an enviable organization.

He did it by emphasizing a down-and-dirty, take-no-prisoners defensive mindset; a hard-nosed, three-yards-and-a-cloud-of-dust running game; and a vertical, quick-strike passing game. He did it by signing players no one else would touch; mean suckers with a past, if not a rap sheet.

Jerry, conversely, made just the right hire for just the right time. He brought in a young, energetic, single-minded college football coach who would eat, drink, sleep football; divorce his wife; ignore his kids; and slave drive his staff until he got where he was going. And where Jimmy Johnson was going was just where Jerry dreamed it could be: to the very pinnacle of National Football League success. He was going – and dragging a giddy Jerry Jones along – to the place no team had been before. He was going to build a team that would win three Super Bowls in four years.

But Jimmy Johnson wouldn’t get that third ring.

Valley Ranch is an expansive football facility, but it could not house the enormously big heads of Jerry Jones and Jimmy Johnson…and Jones had the keys to the place. He paid the mortgage. In the divorce, Jimmy got hush money and Jerry got the Boys and the ranch. Jimmy got some gold, but Jerry owned the mine.

Meanwhile, fans of the Dallas Cowboys simply got the shaft.

Oakland Raiders’ and Dallas Cowboys’ fans know they owe a debt of gratitude to the men most responsible for making the right decisions, pulling the right triggers, and pushing the right buttons to get their teams to the status of storied franchise. Unfortunately, they also know that the line between genius and madness is razor thin and the cartoon-like leftovers of the teams’ owners/general managers are dancing like demented jesters all over that line.

Crazy like a fox is cool. Crazy as a mad hatter is sad.

One only needs to ask this question for perspective on the two teams’ current state of management: If either Jerry Jones or Al Davis were to fire himself as General Manager, would any other NFL team hire him as theirs?

I rest my case.

Dallas Cowboys. Oakland Raiders. Insanity in the owner’s box. Desperation on the field. Turkey and dressing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie on the table.

Happy Thanksgiving, America!

Popularity: 8% [?]

Ha! You missed!

Cowboys 7, Redskins 6.

One could almost stop there and declare, “Enough said.” But it isn’t enough to repeat the shocking score from the Redskins’ first ever visit to the new Jerry World (aka, Cowboys’ Stadium).

No, we need to dig a little deeper if any lessons are to be learned from a 6-3 Cowboys team barely surviving against a 3-6 Washington squad. So, let us dig.

Lesson One is for Jason Garrett.

Hey, Red! Neither the media, nor the fans, nor a delusional owner are really qualified to hammer out a game plan. We know you took so much flak from all quarters after the Green Bay bit-spitting, that you decided you would show everyone and just run, run, run the ball.

Come on, man. Be a man. Plan your work and work your plan. Tell Jerry that he hired you to do a job and he can either allow you to do it or quit beating around the bush and do what he always dreamed of doing anyway: Namely, put on the headset and call the plays himself.

Granted, the plan Jason Garrett rolled out looked like it might work until the Marion Barber fumble deep in Redskins’ territory stalled the maiden drive. Still, Garrett ran and ran and ran some more. He ran so much that the passing game never really got untracked until desperation set in late in the fourth quarter, when it became eminently obvious that an upset was not only possible, but increasingly likely.

Everyone clamoring for more “balance” in the Cowboys’ attack might check the numbers from yesterday’s game. The running and passing were almost dead even. And the offense managed but seven points against a team that is contending for exactly nothing in 2009.

Lesson Two is for Wade Phillips.

Wade, you physical specimen, you. I cannot tell you how ridiculous you look when, after your defense has allowed the opponent to march into field goal range, only to have their kicker misfire, and you start fist-pumping and high-kicking like your team just accomplished something.

Please note that an unforced error by your opponent is not validation of your team’s prowess. Your defense was stellar and gave you plenty of opportunities and reasons to celebrate. Capitalize on those, if you must. Do cartwheels when they sack the quarterback, force a fumble, or get a pick to seal the deal (as they did yesterday). Just, please, for the sake of dignity, stop waving your pom poms on missed field goals.

Lesson Three is for Roy Williams.

Dear Roy, you are not in Midland anymore. You are not even in Austin. This is the NFL. You will not be able to put yourself on cruise control and rely on your natural talent to elevate you to the heights you envision for yourself. Everyone here is talented. And most of them are determined.

Get yourself some of that determination.

Lesson Four is for the Dallas Cowboys fan.

Your team is good, not great. They are talented, but not singularly talented.

The Dallas Cowboys have enough talent on the field to do some real damage in the playoffs, but the head coach is weak and the owner/general manager is…well, he’s Jerry. Enthusiasm for the team’s progress must be tempered by the knowledge that a weak head coach winning a Super Bowl title is an extremely rare occurrence in NFL history.

Lesson Five is for all of us.

This is the NFL. There are no Florida Internationals or Tennessee-Chattanoogas on the schedule. A win is a win…and it is precious.

“So, Good job everybody…?”

Popularity: 2% [?]