Silver and BlueBlood

Who Dat Quarterback!

It took the New Orleans Saints organization 21 years just to post their first winning season. It was 33 years before they won a playoff game. Consequently, Super Bowl XLIV is the ultimate rags–to–riches tale in NFL lore. (Or, perhaps we should say bags–to–riches, since this is the team whose fans once wore bags over their heads and called them the ‘Aints.)

You would expect some memorable communications to come out of such a seminal moment in NFL history, and that is just what happened. Being the consummate investigative reporter, I was able to intercept some key text messages being sent before, during and after Sunday’s big game. Here are the ten best…

Number Ten

Tom Benson to San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro: “Looks like I won’t be needing that contingency plan after all. We’re staying put.”

Number Nine

Peyton Manning to his father Archie Manning, the Saints’ legendary quarterback and color analyst, after throwing the pick six to basically end the game: “You’re welcome.”

Number Eight

The wheels-off, derelict-looking Pete Townsend to the Devil: “Hey, man! We had a deal!”

Number Seven

Coordinating Producer for CBS Sports Steve Karasik to James Brown: “WTF did Sharpe just say? It’s unintelligible.”

Number Six

Shannon Sharpe to his speech therapist: “I demand a refund! I swear I am getting worse, dude. I can’t even understand me any more.”

Number Five

George W. Bush to Katie Couric: “You never looked at me the way you looked at President Obama today. Drool much? LOL.”

Number Four

Eli Manning to Peyton Manning, right after big brother threw that interception: “Hey Bro! Who has dumb face now? LOL.”

Number Three

Sean Peyton to Jim Caldwell right after the onside kick to lead off the second half: “You been punked, rookie.”

Number Two

Carrie Underwood to former boyfriend Tony Romo: “Told you I would make it to the Super Bowl before you did. LOL.”

Number One

Drew Brees to Phillip Rivers, as Drew was receiving the MVP award for Super Bowl XLIV: “Who dat quarterback?”

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He hired me not, He hired me

Welcome to the brave world of NFL playoff predictions, where a writer puts his reputation for good sense and objective reasoning on the line by making a way-too-specific prediction about things to come. I feel like a weatherman, but even they have the good sense to hedge their bet.

“There is a 50% chance of rain.”

What kind of prediction is that? The guy just said there is as much chance it won’t rain as there is that it will. The only time a weatherman gives a 100% prediction is when he can look outside and see that it is in fact raining. Then, he takes that bold step.

But enough about the weather. This is about Super Bowl XLIV, which is to be played in Miami, where the weather is always balmy, right? You know where it will be played. You know when it will be played. Now, I am here to tell you who will be playing in it. Read the rest of this entry »

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