We’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

We’re not in the NFC East race anymore, either. We’re also not in the playoff picture. We’re not even relevant.

The Monday night debacle between the Dallas Cowboys and their hated rivals from New York, the Giants, was surreal. I kept feeling like I was watching yet another re-run of that creepy classic, The Wizard of Oz. I was hearing that annoying Munchkin song and the evil cackle of the Wicked Witch of the West over and over and over again.

This was Monday Night Football, right? So, why was the entire cast of The Wizard of Oz there?

If I only had a brain!

Several of your Silver and Blue Heroes were vying for the role of Scarecrow.

Rookie fullback Chris Gronkowski is a favorite to snag the top Scarecrow spot. He was so anxious running a check-down flare pattern that he failed to see Giants’ linebacker Michael Boley barreling untouched through the Cowboys’ line. Gronkowski’s gaffe resulted in a broken collarbone for Tony Romo and a lost season for the team.

If not for his coach, Gronkowski would surely get the role. But he may find himself playing understudy to the inimitable Wade Phillips. You remember him? Mr. Fix-It. The ballyhooed defensive genius. The man who got caught with his pants down on the goal line, when he didn’t have a cornerback on the field and ended up covering Hakeem Nicks, the Giants’ most dangerous receiver, with a safety.

Add to that stupidity, the usual post-game bonehead statement about the team giving “a real good effort,” and thespian Phillips is hard to unseat when it comes to playing a brainless bunch of straw stuffed into a shirt.

The Tin Men cometh.

Actually it’s eleven tin men, but whose counting? The Dallas defense will collaborate to play the role of the heartless, hollow tin man.

I think I am right when I say Tony Romo doesn’t play defense. Yet, after the franchise quarterback went down, the defense lay down. Sporting a 20-7 lead, they decided to stand by and watch as the Giants peeled off 31 unanswered points in a matter of just 14 minutes. Eli Manning looked like John Elway, Joe Montana and Roger Staubach rolled into one impressive passing machine, completing 14 of 15 passes.

Of course, any NFL quarterback can complete passes when there is no defense interfering.

When a good team loses its leader, they rally. They close ranks. They find a way to make do. Witness the Pittsburgh Steelers, who, in the absence of their two-time Super Bowl winning QB Ben Roethlisberger, lost only one game.

The Dallas Cowboys are not a good team. They are a team with plenty of good players, but they are not a TEAM.

Tony Dorsett, one of the greatest Cowboys from one of the team’s greatest eras, nailed it when he called the current version of the team “a bunch of underachievers.”

Sorry, Wade. There is just no defending your defense this week.

The Cowardly Lion cowers.

One man has asserted himself as the prime candidate for this role: offensive coordinator Jason Garrett. For two weeks, he has coached scared. He has loaded his game plan with draw plays, screen passes, and quick hits. He has been scared of opposing defenses.

Well, he may have had good reason, I suppose. He apparently knows something the rest of us don’t: His offensive line is pathetic. He cannot call a pass down the field because it will get his quarterback killed. That was his reasoning, and apparently it was correct.

On second thought, let’s give the part of the Cowardly Lion to the Cowardly Line. They are big. They are tough. They are strong. And they can’t open a running lane or pass block to save their lives. They don’t pick up stunts. They whiff at speed rushers and shrink before bull rushers. They are, aside from Wade Phillips and his inept coaching staff, the single greatest culprit in this 1-5 mess of a season.

The Wicked Witch ain’t from the West.

Is it just me, or does Tom Coughlin look like a stern Puritanical grandmother?

That is beside the point, though. Monday night, he played the role of the Wicked Witch.

With his team down 10-0 and having given up an interception on each of its first two drives, the evil Coughlin pointed to Phillips and said, “I’ll get you, my pretty.”

And he did. He did what Phillips has never been able to do. He rallied his troops. He got them focused. He kept them cool. He guided them to an unlikely, come-from-behind, runaway victory in enemy territory.

The Wizard and his Wizardry Won’t Work

Like the Emerald City, the shiny new Cowboys Stadium rises out of the bland north Arlington landscape, all sparkly and shiny, promising a new day of hope and fun.

But it’s an illusion. The man behind the curtain is no wizard at all: He’s just a not-so-smooth-talking salesman. He has been doing his dead-level best to sell Cowboys fans and the nation-at-large on the idea that he has put together a title contender, that he has the right leadership in place, that he assembled a championship caliber team.

Unfortunately for Jerry Jones, the curtain has been ripped back. We know it is all a sham. There is no Emerald City. There is no Super Bowl contender. It was all just a dream, and we may as well be in Kansas. Heck, they have a team that might be a legitimate contender in Kansas City.

The real wizard was Tony Romo, whose rare abilities managed to mask the deep-seated problems in the offensive line. But the wizard’s wand is broken. And so are our hearts.

After the storm: Where are we anyway?

Cowboys fans are left with a team that has enough talent to be taken seriously in the race to Super Bowl XLV…if they only had a brain, a heart, the “noive.”

If the Houston Astrodome was the eighth wonder of the world in its day, then the new Cowboys’ Stadium has to be the marvel of the modern era. Having toured the stadium twice in the past month, I am impressed more than ever with Jerry Jones as a visionary and marketing genius. It is hard not to be overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude, architectural ingenuity, and pure elegance of the place.

Master Builder?

Cowboys stadium is the Crystal Cathedral of football venues.

There is, however, a couple of troubling, nagging questions gnawing at the back of my brain.

First, does Jerry Jones see his new stadium as the crowning achievement of his NFL career?

I mean, he already has his Super Bowl trophies. He bought himself enough good will in the early 90s to see him through the late 90s and early 2000s. Sure, he wants more. Of course, he would like to hoist another trophy or three. But maybe, just maybe, he realizes that in the grand scheme of things, in the world beyond the NFL, that building is the one achievement likely to make him an international darling.

Second, does he spend more time, energy and personal resources on ensuring that the biggest in outlay of cash he will ever make pays off?

The stadium tour guide makes sure you know that the place cost 1.4 billion to build. He also makes sure you know that the city of Arlington had a hard cap of 325 million that it was willing to contribute. The rest came straight out of Jerry’s coffers.

In a global economy that smells like the soured milk I dumped down the sink the other day, that is a ton of cash. Heck, in a robust economy with no money worries anywhere, that is still a handsome sum.One cannot help but wonder how much of Jerry’s mind is occupied with hosting thrilling boxing matches, a BCS game, a U2 concert, an NCAA basketball final, a Republican National Convention, a World Cup, and so on.

Now, you, as a Cowboys’ fan, may say, “Yeah. So?”

So, I will tell you my concern. Maybe Jerry is going cheap this off-season because he has looked at his bank account and said, “Whoa!”

Exhibit A: O.J. Atogwe. Here is a proven safety, as good a center fielder as there is in football, a ball-hawking, play-maker at the position that happens to be your team’s last line of defense before the opponent hangs six on you, and Jerry says, “Meh.”

Is that not a little weird to you? Do you really believe that Jerry is that confident in the undersized Alan Ball and the unproven Michael Hamlin?

In the past, if you gave Jerry an opportunity to upgrade a position like that and all it would cost was money, he would pull that trigger every time. Every single time. And now here he sits in an uncapped year, with the biggest question mark on his entire team being at the safety position, and a plum like Otogwe falls on his plate, and he pushes it aside.

“No thanks. I’m full. We’re good where we are.”

Really?

That kind of anti-Jones behavior is enough to raise a red flag. Is Jerry hurting for money? Is he pinching pennies? If so, how much will the on-field product suffer while he waits for his glorious new stadium to pay for itself?

This is just conjecture, of course. Maybe this is nothing. Maybe Jones and Coach Wade Phillips have seen enough of the kids to really believe they will be as good as or better than Atogwe. Maybe.

But, maybe not.

Poor Baby!

During the 2008 off-season, I began to call for Greg Ellis to be cut. I contended that, rather than being the leader he was purported to be, he had become a locker room cancer. In a recent radio interview – while on his way out of town to play for the NFL joke known as the Oakland Raiders – Ellis confirmed that he is more than just a selfish whine-bag: he is a moron, as well.

Here’s what the Dallas Morning News reports Ellis as saying:

“It’s a disgrace when DeMarcus Ware comes off the field just so I can get in the game and when the coaches tell him to come on the field, he tries to hide so I can play,” Ellis said during an appearance on ESPN 103.3′s Michael Irvin Show. “And you’re telling me we’re trying to win the Super Bowl?”

“On his own,” Ellis said. “He would say, ‘G, come on.’ And I would tell him, ‘No, DeMarcus, go ahead, man. You’re coming up on your contract year. Don’t mess that stuff up. Go ahead and do you, and we’re just going to do what the coaches, or whoever the powers that be, what they want to do.’”

This is wrong on so many levels.

First, I want you to notice that subtle nuance in paragraph two: the intimation that the only thing this is ever about is your own contract. I know this is professional sports and the man’s livelihood, but for four years, Ellis has made it crystal clear that he puts his own concerns above the team’s one hundred percent of the time. The guy was never underpaid. In fact, his compensation (that commisserate with a first-rounder) was more than adequate to reflect his performance and value to the team.

Second, a few days later on Sports Radio 1310 (the Ticket), I listened to an interview with DeMarcus Ware. He did not out-and-out call Ellis a liar, but he didn’t get his back either. He said, “I think I was in there like 95% of the time.” He said every time he happened to be on the sideline for a play, it was for a valid reason. Ware was certainly in there enough to record twenty sacks on the season!

Third, Ware being off the field has no bearing on Ellis being on the field. They do not play the same position. Ellis doesn’t back up Ware or vice versa. One is strong-side; the other weak-side. Ware won’t say it, so I will: Ellis is either twisting the truth, misinformed, or making up stories.

Fourth, Greg Ellis has to be a moron to think that the media would just bob their heads and accept whatever he said at face value, as though they don’t watch the games themselves, as though they don’t have access to the other player in question. And even if the media let it pass, knowledgeable fans will not.

For years, every time a Cowboy fan saw Ellis on the field, he was reminded of the player the Cowboys bypassed in order to draft him. That would be Randy Moss. While Ellis has enjoyed a career as a serviceable – but never a standout – player, Moss has stretched defenses, caused offensive coordinators nightmares, and established himself as a top five player at his position.

For four seasons, Ellis has spent every off-season bitching and posturing. If it wasn’t money, it was the team switching to the 3-4 (the move that helped finally make him a Pro Bowler for at least one season). Or, it was team management. It was always something. Then, the season would begin and he would be hailed as a team leader. No wonder they have gone nowhere in a dozen years. Leaders like that never take an organization to the pinnacle of success.

So, good riddance to poor, mistreated Greg and good luck to the Raiders.

I have an idea for Jerry Jones. In future contract negotiations, put in an extra incentive for the player NOT to make YouTube videos (hello, Marty B) or write a blog. More often than not, no good comes from it.

Mike Jenkins recently announced via his blog that he was the starting cornerback coming into training camp and it was his job to lose:

Heading into training camp I’m the starter at right cornerback, and my job is to maintain that position. I’m back in Florida training at IMG to get my body right, get my head right, be mentally ready heading into the season.

Now, that may be a fact. Perhaps the coaches have told the young player, “Mike, it’s your job to lose.” Sharing that information on his blog like he did, however, smacks of poor taste at best and braggadocio at worse. It is hard to imagine how such a declaration contributes anything positive to the health of the team in general or to his relationship with other candidates for the position, like Orlando Scandrick.

What’s more, Jenkins opened the door to media scrutiny and criticism. And he got it. It came so fast and furious that the novice blogger/aspiring starting cornerback found himself issuing a clarification a couple days later. He wrote:

Because of all the talk that’s been going on about my last blog, let me say this: I don’t think the starting job is mine because of the round and pick I was drafted, and I don’t think it’s going to be given to me because there’s favoritism.

That’s not my way.

I’m far from my peak, I have not played or showed any comparison to what I did at South Florida and a lot of fans, writers, coaches don’t know that. Me and Orlando are two totally different players. You can’t coach me the same way you coach him. Just like Nnamdi and Asante Samuel, we have two totally different styles.

So for closure, I’m coming into camp with a chip on my shoulder and I think the job will be mine because of the confidence I have in myself and not because of anything else! Everyone is trying to make this a big issue when this is just a needle in a haystack. The big picture is to win our games no matter who the starter is and make the playoffs.

Point blank, period.

Never mind his poor communication skills and ignorance concerning the meaning of certain idioms (e.g., “needle in a haystack”) and the common use of prepositional phrases (“for closure” versus “in closing”), Jenkins should shut down his blog today because nothing good can really come of it.

It can, however, lead to plenty of headaches and distractions.

Mike Jenkins was not hired to be a “celebrity blogger.” He was hired to play football, to make a significant contribution to the success of a team. He would do well to focus on that responsibility and leave the speculation, conjecture, and declarations to those whose jobs depend on such things…or those who cannot think of anything better to do (like me).

The best advice someone could give young Mikey right now? Something like this:

“Hey, kid! Shut up and play. There will be plenty of time to blab and blog and blow your own horn when your career is done. It goes faster than you think.”

One thing you do not have to worry about with the Dallas Cowboys’ former quarterback turned color analyst is whether or not he will mince words. When he was a player, Troy Aikman had the generic football-speak answer down so pat that people thought he had no personality. He seemed as dull as dirty dishwater. Now that he is free from carrying the burden of the most scrutinized position in professional football, he seems willing to tell it as it is…or at least as he sees it.

Last year, during the Philly game (the second one, where the giant egg was laid), Aikman criticized Roy Williams’ route running, among other things. Now, he is on record saying that if Roy Williams does not produce as a Dallas Cowboy, he will prove to be one of the biggest busts in the history of the league. His exact quote:

If Roy Williams doesn’t turn out to be the player they thought he would be when they made the trade, I think this would be one of the biggest busts in the history of the league.

Ouch! Those are some strong words. But is he right? I mean, sure, with the giving up of first and third round picks, an underperforming Williams would sure make this a bad trade, one reminiscent of the Terry Glenn mess. But one of the biggest busts in history? Let me throw out a few names to put that statement into perspective:

• Ryan Leaf, 2nd overall pick in 1998, San Diego Chargers
  
• Todd Marinovich, 24th pick in 1991, Los Angeles Raiders
• Brian Bosworth, 1st overall pick, 1987 supplemental draft, Seattle Seahawks
• Tony Mandarich, 2nd pick overall, 1989 draft, Green Bay Packers
  
• Danny Noonan, 12th overall pick, 1987 draft, Dallas Cowboys

Those are a few names that come readily to mind. I am sure the reader may have a name or two to add to the legacy of infamy that is the first-round draft bust. Roy Williams would have to stink it up pretty badly to warrant having his bust beside those busts in the NFL hall of shame.

Here’s hoping Troy is wrong. Here’s hoping Roy will prove to be everything the Cowboys’ brain trust believed him to be. His talent is certainly not in question. That only leaves the matters of heart, head, and desire.

If Roy busts, then Troy’s words…

I just think that when you have the chance to evaluate a player to the degree the Cowboys were able to and then to give up what you gave up, if he’s not a No. 1 receiver and not a highly productive player for this team, that’s a huge flaw within their scouting department

…may haunt this organization for years to come.

I doubt Aikman will ever throw Williams a pass, but he sure has hurled a heater right at his head. We’ll see if he catches it.

Held Up

Everyone from ESPN to the Dallas Morning News is reporting that the Dallas Cowboys are shopping Bobby Carpenter. Expect it to be a tough sale with few takers…and no one willing to spend more than a 4th or 5th round pick for Goldilocks.

After being taken with the 18th pick in the first round of the 2006 draft, Bobby Carpenter has proven to be one of the larger first round busts in team history. Over the past two seasons, he has recorded just 7 tackles on defense. You have to go to special teams to find any sort of contribution at all. He recorded 30 special teams tackles during the recent two-season span.

For all of his genius, Bill Parcells has proven to have an Achilles’ heel related to former players of his. No matter how long in the tooth, how far removed from any real productivity, Big Bill brings them in wherever he is, because he “trusts” them. Bobby’s dad, Rob, was one of Parcells’ players when he was with the Giants. He was a productive player (fullback) and a favorite of the Tuna. No doubt, the Tuna’s belief in the man he once coached colored his evaluation of the man’s blond bombshell (or, make that bomb) progeny.

Anyway, the Cowboys shopping Carpenter reminds me of my wife insisting on having a garage sale before I haul off the junk that has been collecting in the garage for a couple years. It’s hard to find a buyer who treasures your trash enough to do much more than haul it away for you. Carpenter apparently lacks both the tools and the drive to excel at the highest level of football. I wonder, after the garage sale produces no buyers, will the Cowboys make a run to the nearest charity drop-off receptacle?

Long before the NFL was America’s pastime, back when a midweek game meant messing up routines, risking injury, missing dinner with the family, and general aggravation, the NFL was looking for a second team to take a Thanksgiving Day game. Everyone said, “No thanks.” Everyone, that is, except Tex Schramm.

Pure Greatness!

Schramm, the architect of the Cowboys’ America’s Team persona, saw this as an opportunity to further set his team apart. He saw the chance to give the Cowboys a unique identity and to guarantee a national spotlight on a day when sleepy-eyed men, stuffed with turkey and stuffing, would love nothing better than to loosen their belts and watch some football.

That was then. Now, the NFL is the most profitable, highest profile professional sports organization in the country. Now, it is a multi-billion dollar business with mega-millionaire superstars and billion-dollar venues. Now, everyone wants a piece of the pie Tex baked.

Despite proof to the contrary, some complain that the late season Thursday game is a competitive advantage to the Cowboys and Lions. I don’t know which two teams they are watching in December!

Goodell has confirmed that he will not mess with the setup this season, but that he will consider rotating the games in

Turkey?

the future. I have just two words for the meddlesome man who wouldn’t make a decent wart on Rozelle’s rump: Booooo! Hisssss!

Hey, Rog, go do something worthwhile, like maybe setting some sort of rookie cap, so people aren’t clamoring not to get a top ten draft pick. Or, address the (apparent) declining efficiency of officiating in the league. Or, just count those stacks of money.

Whatever you do, keep your grubby little hands off Thanksgiving!

Terence Newman has recently developed a bad case of diarrhea mouth. First he called out Tony Romo regarding his love life and then he blasted his defensive coaches for lacking creativity in their scheming.

In the first case, Dallas Morning News beat writer Jean-Jacques Taylor aptly observes, he broke the locker room code of ethics. Taylor writes:

There are two things players should never talk about publicly: another player’s money or his woman.

Terence Newman violated that rule the other day, when he talked about Tony Romo’s relationship with Jessica Simpson affecting his ability on the field.

That’s just wrong.

Here’s the interview:

In the second case (same interview), Terence faults the defensive schemes, claiming they are too simple and everyone knows what’s coming. Maybe he is right. Seems like a team meeting or a private meeting with the coaching staff would be a great place to express those concerns.

Here’s what he said:

We’re pretty simple on our defense, I think. We line up and teams are calling out what we’re doing. In the middle of games, they’re calling out, ‘OK, he’s coming, he’s coming,’ and they’re right.

No wonder Big Bill slapped gag orders on people when he was here. Some are better seen and not heard. Isn’t it high time for high-priced players like Newman to put up AND shut up? Shouldn’t they let others critique their teammates and coaches? Shouldn’t they develop more of a bunker mentality? As long as key players stand around and point accusatory fingers, Cowboys fans can expect more of the same under-achievement, I’m afraid.

After knee-jerking about Jerry Jones’ signing of the threepeat offender, Gerald Sensabaugh the other day, let me give a little balance by commending the oft-maligned GM for signing Sensabaugh to a sensible contract. Clarence Hill, writer for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, reports that the former Jacksonville Jaguars safety has signed a one-year, $1.75 million deal.

I like the deal because it puts the onus on the player to earn his way. Rather than pre-rewarding him for work yet completed, ala the Washington Redskins and Albert Haynesworth, Jerry is saying, “Alright, come in here and excel, keep your nose clean, and earn the contract you really want.”

Actually, Jerry’s off-season moves to date have made sense, and seem to have taken the pressure off of filling dire needs with draft picks. He hasn’t thrown silly money around and he has filled holes on the defensive side of the ball. The final two weeks of the 2008 season revealed just how far from whole that unit was.

So, kudos to Jerry the GM. Maybe with Stephen Jones on one elbow and Dan Reeves on the other, the former wildcatter will find a healthy balance between risk and caution. And just maybe, the cautious risks will render playoff rewards.

We can hope!

Tell us What You Think:

When has “reality” ever felt more surreal?

It’s all set. Michael Irvin has his reality show, dubbed Fourth and Long. He has the dirty dozen contestants all penciled in. He has Spike TV set to run the series. And, most importantly – and most distressing to any level-headed Cowboys’ fan, he has Jerry Jones’ commitment of the 80th preseason roster spot reserved for the “winner.”

Hey, I don’t deny it’s a unique idea. Nor do I deny that I will set my DVR to record the series. I just think it sadly telling that while 31 other NFL franchises are working on bettering their football teams, Jones is adding another Big Top to the circus. He continues to prove that style often trumps substance, that being “America’s Team” is just as important to him as winning that sixth Super Bowl, that he cannot get enough of the limelight.

(Someone said the sponsor for the new stadium should be Barnum & Bailey & Ringling Brothers. Not a bad idea.)

At any rate, Cowboy Nation, Dancin’ To the Star is a done deal…may as well enjoy. If anyone can motivate a nobody to be somebody, if anyone can instill in an average athlete an above-average heart and desire, it’s Michael Friggin’ Irvin.

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