‘Twas Christmas night and all through the stands
Not a person was cheering, not one single fan.
For down on the field, it mattered not who’d win:
One team’s five and nine and the other four and ten.
The kids were decked out in their jerseys and caps
Which Santa had brought and dumped in their laps
Along with iPads and Windows for phones
Which parents had bought with low-interest loans.
Football on Christmas, what more could you ask
Ole St. Nick to bring that’s not in a flask?
The family madness and holiday stress
Is all but forgotten with one touchdown pass.
The Cowboys and Cardinals will do it up right;
Though they each fight for nothing, there will still be a fight.
Out there in the desert, where Christmas ain’t white,
There’ll be Christmas football played into the night.
And somewhere up there, way up in the stands
There will be Ole Saint Nick dressed up like a fan.
His chores all done and the cookies all eaten
He’ll cheer for the team that looks the least beaten.
His eyes will both twinkle and his nose it will aglow
When he grabs at his belly and cheers, Ho Ho Ho!
And we’ll hear him sing out ‘neath the stadium’s bright lights,
“Merry Christmas to all and happy Football Night!”