Apr 102009
 

One thing you do not have to worry about with the Dallas Cowboys’ former quarterback turned color analyst is whether or not he will mince words. When he was a player, Troy Aikman had the generic football-speak answer down so pat that people thought he had no personality. He seemed as dull as dirty dishwater. [...]

Apr 082009
 
Miles to Go? Jets May Force Jerry Jones' Hand

Jerry Jones has insisted that the primary reason he gave T.O. the boot was to make room for the Cowboys’ young receivers to flourish. The one name he has mentioned as a plausible replacement for Owens, especially as a deep threat, is Miles Austin. Today, the Dallas Morning News is reporting that the New York [...]

Apr 022009
 
Witten Gets It Right

Jason Witten finally broke his off-season silence. He didn’t say much, but in his few words, he said a great deal. After admitting that T.O.’s presence on the field made him (Jason, that is) a better player, the All-Pro tight end added this nugget: “I don’t want to look at it and say we are [...]

Mar 312009
 
Whew! Emmitt is Done at ESPN

OK, all of you red-faced Cowboys’ fans: you can come out from under the bed and take the bag off your head. Emmitt Smith’s tenure at ESPN has mercifully come to an end. While employed by ESPN, Emmitt was a cliche-spitting, infinity-splitting, stupidity-emitting, bumbling buffoon. To highlight and contrast his ineptitude as a broadcaster, the [...]

Mar 182009
 
The Tuna's Ten Commandments Plus One: Is Romo Keeping Them?

While still an ESPN analyst and before heading off with his anointing oil to resurrect yet another storied NFL franchise from a self-dug grave, Bill Parcells shared a list he had given to Tony Romo while he was the coach of the Cowboys. Admittedly, I am no Big Bill fan. He doesn’t need any additional [...]

Mar 182009
 
Soooey! Jones has a Thing for Joneses and Arkansas (But is this one too risky?)

Former Arkansas Razorback quarterback-turned -NFL receiver Matt Jones has officially been released from the Jacksonville Jaguars. The troubled young man has had more than his share of run-ins with the law, all stemming from drug abuse. He was recently released from jail, having earned a stint there by testing positive for alcohol during a blood [...]

Mar 172009
 

Terence Newman has recently developed a bad case of diarrhea mouth. First he called out Tony Romo regarding his love life and then he blasted his defensive coaches for lacking creativity in their scheming. In the first case, Dallas Morning News beat writer Jean-Jacques Taylor aptly observes, he broke the locker room code of ethics. [...]

Mar 162009
 
Aikman to Romo: "Get a Clue, Kid."

Tony Romo is frustrating. He shows flashes of absolute brilliance. He makes plays that couldn’t be made by three or four other QBs in the entire league. But those brilliant moments are too often mired in bonehead/brain-dead plays that sometimes only cost his team points and other times cost his team points and provide his [...]